Flash Fiction Fridays: Cold Hard Stone

This week’s flash fiction is my take on a writing prompt I recently posted on Pinterest.

~~~

Shauna opened her eyes to…nothing? Inky blackness met her gaze, and she shifted with a soft whine. Pain sparked through her arm, but she ignored it and forced herself to sit up anyway. Where was she? Cold stone met her palms and the backs of her thighs, and she winced. Not being able to see anything was unnerving.

She slid her fingers along the stone until they met empty air. Some sort of pedestal then. How far was it to the floor? She didn’t dare try to climb off this thing without knowing what lay beneath. Really, in this kind of darkness, the floor could be thousands of feet below her or some monster could lurk in the darkness. She’d seen enough to know the monster under the bed wasn’t always the result of an overactive imagination.

But she couldn’t sit here all day, either. Well, maybe not day. Too dark to know if it was day or night wherever she was. Either way, she couldn’t stay here. She felt down the side of the stone she sat on, inch by inch. Nothing snapped at her fingers, but she also couldn’t feel any other surfaces to step on just yet.

Her head ached with the motion, and her injured arm throbbed. While she quested for some indication of where she might be situated and how to escape, she occupied herself with trying to determine what might have happened to her. Had she been drugged? Given how her head felt, quite likely. She must have put up a fight to be injured like this unless whoever dragged her down here and been careless. Why, oh, why– Her fingers brushed against another solid surface.

Cheering mentally, she leaned over to feel along the cool surface. More stone, but it seemed to be more the sort flooring might be made out of. That was a good sign. Even better, it didn’t drop off that she could tell. She slipped her feet over the edge and eased onto the solid ground beneath the stone slab she’d been on. One step at a time, she felt her way along the new surface until she hit a wall.

Walls were good. They meant that, besides stairs, the floor probably didn’t just end somewhere. They also meant she was in a man-made structure of some sort, whether built entirely by hand or built into some sort of cave structure. At least she knew there would be some rhyme or reason to the building. She continued forward, shuffling along at a slow, steady pace.

The darkness in the space eased a bit at a time with each step she took. It felt like an eternity before it happened, but she took a turn with the wall and burst out into a dimly-lit hall. A door stood at the other end, and through the tiny pane of glass, she caught a glimpse of what appeared to be some kind of lab. Had they brought her here to be a guinea pig? If so, why leave her in the dark, unchained and free to roam whenever the drugs they’d given her wore off? Perhaps there was something more going on in that dark place. And just maybe she’d gotten out in the nick of time. She stopped at the door and peered in through the glass pane.

Her breath caught in her chest, and bile rose in her throat. There, on the screens mounted all over the room, was the unmistakable form of some giant creature on the infrared camera feeds. It must have been down in that place she’d come from or somewhere even deeper for whoever owned this place to use infrared cameras to keep an eye on it.

She cracked the door open and slipped inside the unoccupied room. Once inside, she simply stared at everything. The word Behemoth was written in bold red ink across a folder nearby and again in black print on the far wall. Behemoth. Was that the creature or the organization? She reached out and flipped the folder open with trembling fingers.

Pictures of twisted, torn bodies of young women spilled out across the metal table in disarray. She gasped and stepped back, her fingers going to her throat. What was this place? She turned away, stomach heaving, and took one step in the direction of the door.

Black, polished shoes reflected the fluorescent lights. Her gaze traveled up over black slacks, a white lab coat, and a neatly pressed grey shirt until it met a blue gaze as sterile as its owner’s clothing. She swallowed hard.

The man offered her a razor sharp smile. “I see Moth didn’t take you. Well, guess he’s judged you suitable for phase two, which means you’re all mine from here on out.”

A scream lodged itself in her throat.

“Oh, come now. You weren’t eaten alive. This part will be much better than that, I promise. I’m the much gentler side of Behemoth. The face it presents to the world. I won’t hurt you. Much.”

Now why didn’t she believe that? She took a shaky step back and snatched the first sharp object she saw off the table. A pen. How useful.

He eyed it with a bemused grin and slipped a syringe from his pocket. “I can see he chose well, little girl. When you wake up, it’ll all be much less frightening, I promise.”

~~~

That was a little bit longer than the last few have been, but I hope you guys enjoyed it anyway! If you’re curious about what the prompt was or want to give it a try yourself, you can check it out on Pinterest. I post about two writing prompts a week on The Fantasy Nook Blog’s Pinterest page, so if you’re looking for inspiration, head on over and take a look. I also pin other people’s writing prompts when I find interesting ones, so there’s a little of something for everyone, I think.

Thursday Technicalities: Self-Editing

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Introduction

Last week, we talked about the types of edits that can be acquired when you’re ready for an editor. But what if you can’t afford an editor or just want to make sure the edit will take less time so you don’t have to pay as much? As an editor, I always encourage people to get an editor before publishing, particularly self-publishing, but I also understand that not everyone has the money to do that. So what can you do if you’re in that situation? You can self-edit.

Basics of Self-Editing

To begin with, let me say this. Self-editing means nothing if you don’t have a clue how to do it. This is why I recommend that authors find an editor who can help them in this area. Why? Because frankly, most authors can’t do both. There’s no shame in that. They’re not bad writers because of it, certainly. I’ve helped out plenty of people who had great ideas and even an okay execution of the idea, but they didn’t know how to edit it so that it would truly come to life. So, chances are pretty high that you may not have any idea how to edit, even if you know your way around writing a story well enough.

If you’re in that situation, again, there’s no reason for embarrassment. It’s a normal situation to be in. You should, however, take the time to learn about editing. I know it takes time and that time is often in short supply for all of us, but self-editing means you are going to be your own editor, and whether or not readers can really enjoy the story depends entirely upon not just how well you write but also how well you can edit.

This post can’t possibly cover everything you need to know about self-editing. There’s simply far too much to cover, and you’re not going to be able to learn it all overnight. You should approach this with the basic understanding that self-editing is your doing the same things an editor would do. Since that requires a lot of knowledge, the rest of the post will be going over resources you can use to learn how to be a better self-editor. You have to learn and practice editing the same way you had to learn and practice writing. The two are related but separate competencies, and they require very different mindsets and knowledge bases.

Resources

Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King: This one is a really good book to start with if you have no self-editing experience. It’s at the top of the list because it’s more modern than book two on the list but still covers a good mix of basic and advanced topics. It’s well-organized and moves from simple to complex.
Strunk and White’s Elements of Style by Strunk and White: You should read this if you read nothing else. It’s a bit drier than Browne and King’s book listed above, but it’s just as relevant, and you’ll learn a lot, particularly about the grammar and style portions of editing that every editor should know. I recommend it to both authors and to those asking me for editing advice. For all its dryness, the book is still indispensable, and once you’ve read through it once, you can continue to use it as a reference while editing.
Revision and Self-Editing by James Scott Bell: This comes from a bit more of a writing perspective based on the pieces I’ve looked through for reference. I’m reading through it in its entirety now, and it’s packed with useful examples, information, and pieces of advice from editors and authors who have experience in the field. Bell also has a pretty good sense of humor, in my opinion, and it comes out in the way he says things or the selections he chooses for examples. This one’s definitely not a terribly difficult read either.
Woe is I: A Grammarphobe’s Guide to Better English in Plain English by Patricia T. O’Conner: I haven’t personally read this one, but it’s a national best-seller recommended by editors for people looking to self-edit. It focuses more on the sentence-level edit, something every book benefits from but often doesn’t get. Welcome to the world where you agonize over every page, paragraph, sentence, and word in your book. Fun stuff, right? In all seriousness though, this book is well-known for being a humorous, fun approach to teaching you what you need to know about grammar and sentence-level edits.
Editing Mastery: How to Edit Writing to Perfection by Shani Raja: This is an online course with Udemy written by an ex-Wall Street Journal editor. I’ve gone through almost half the course, and it’s been one of the most valuable resources I’ve ever come across. It’ll teach you how to do a deep edit like some of the world’s top editors do. The course example and practice assignment focuses mainly on non-fiction, but I’ve found that the principles are fairly easy to apply to fiction of any sort as well.

Conclusion

I hope the resources I’ve provided help you out in your self-editing journey. It’s not an easy area to master, frankly, but the resources above have been some of the most useful ones I’ve come across in my time both freelance editing and self-editing. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you best of luck with your piece!

Work-In-Progress Wednesdays #36

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This week’s work-in-progress comes from Pathway of the Moon, mainly because that’s what I’ve been working on most lately. I’m getting so close to done, and I’m definitely feeling end-of-book jitters. More than usual, in fact, but I guess that’s to be expected since the book is way longer than anything I’ve ever done before. But, hey, I’m still excited to write the sequel, so that’s probably a good sign, I think.

~~~

THE CEREMONY WAS finally here, and it didn’t quite seem real. She stood at the front of the small chapel with her hands in Leo’s, and for the first time, it slowly started to sink in. She would be his Bond when this finished. Really, truly, his. A small tremor zipped down her spine. Before today, she’d dreamed of this moment and spent hours fantasizing about it. It wasn’t everything she’d dreamed of. But it was everything she really needed.

Anyone who mattered even a little sat in the rustic pews and watched the two of them as they placed their interlocked hands over the bowl of clear, fresh water on the altar. In the old days, this would have been done in a large pool of water for larger chapels or at a stream for chapels without the ability to furnish the pool. Now, they kept the symbol without the actual ancient tradition. She stared into the clear water. A symbol not only of the purity of their intentions today but also a sign of the clarity and transparency that was to characterize their lives as Bonds.

The presiding minister stepped forward and wrapped a leafy length of vine around their hands to show the way their lives would be bound to each other’s, and she smiled. The words of the ceremony barely registered. Didn’t matter anyway. She knew that she could pledge herself to the man standing across from her with no doubts or reservations.

He squeezed her hands with a smile of his own, and she knew he wasn’t paying close attention to the droning of the minister either. She blushed and lowered her head. Her mind drifted toward the other ways they’d become Bonded after the ceremony. They’d been holding back on it for long enough, and finally, the waiting would end. No more interruptions or people keeping them apart. If anyone tried to get in the way of her Bonding night, she couldn’t be held responsible for what she’d do. Her entire body was ready to combust with a single touch from him, and the gentle pressure he was putting on her hands felt like a silent promise.

And then the minister was asking her for her vows, and she resurfaced just in time to recite them. If she was being honest, she doubted she’d remember much about this part of the ceremony. It already felt like a blur, and she hadn’t even finished going through it yet. Years from now, her Bond’s expression and the love shining in his eyes would probably be all she remembered. That thought didn’t bother her nearly as much as she’d expected it to, though. Really, Leo and her new family was all that mattered. The ceremony was a formality to allow the Bonding magic to unite their ashtras. Nothing more.

The priest kept droning on for a few more minutes, and Leo rolled his eyes. She glanced out across the crowd and caught a smirk on Brennan’s face. At least one person had caught onto their impatience. A bubble of laughter welled up inside her, but she squashed it. Laughing now would be highly inappropriate. Leo looked like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to rush the priest or laugh about how stuffy the man sounded. Well, they were in this together then. Just like they would be in everything else from now on.

Finally, the priest said the only words Leo had been waiting for this entire ceremony. The moment he had permission from the priest, he dipped her back and covered her mouth with his. No chaste, polite peck for him. He had to devour her lips like a man dying of thirst. She clutched his broad shoulders for balance, knowing this was only a small taste of what she’d get later. Her cheeks heated, but she liked that he wasn’t shy about declaring his affections even if Nadar did cough when the kiss went on a little too long. He finally let her come up for air, but his dark gaze whispered promises for the minute he got her back to his room. She shivered and didn’t let go of his shoulders as his gaze swallowed her whole.

~~~

Well, that’s all for this week, everyone! What are you guys working on? Anything you’re finding fun and exciting? For those of you who don’t write, what are you reading? Feel free to share in the comments!

Flash Fiction Fridays – Guardian

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This week’s Flash Fiction Friday is another one based on a prompt I found on Pinterest. This one is built on the premise that everyone but you has a guardian angel. Instead, you have a guardian demon who deals with things in more violent but much more efficient fashion. It sounded interesting, so let’s see where this goes.

~~~

“Did you really have to do that?” I pointed to the corpse with his burned-out eyes and open mouth, which had, just seconds ago, been releasing a lot of noise. A lot of hot air too. Seriously, he should have known no one could reason with a demon. I’d figured it out ages ago. Hadn’t taken me more than a few hours after he showed up.

“He was a danger to you.”

“Azariel, he just wanted my wallet.”

“I know humans and their dark intentions, little girl. I’ve been around a few times. Seen things you couldn’t even imagine.” Azariel examined his sharp, curving claws with a sniff. “He would’ve done much worse than steal your wallet.”

“Thanks for that image.” I gagged and turned away from the corpse. “But you can’t murder everyone who comes after me!”

“Why not? I’m not an angel, pet. I’m a demon, and demons create havoc, destroy things, and lead humans astray.”

I groaned and shook my head. “Remind me again why you’re here? I never asked for a guardian—angel or demon—but I certainly would’ve chosen anything but you.”

“Such bratty behavior for someone who would’ve died if I hadn’t stepped in.” Azariel smiled at me and flicked my wayward bangs out of my eyes. “Really, Ash, would it kill you to be grateful? I know I’m supposed to encourage greed and all other banal, wicked attitudes in humans, but I have feelings too. I’d appreciate a little bit of thankfulness for saving your life.”

“Azariel,” I drawled. “You have been leaving a trail of corpses behind you since we met a month ago. I’m going to end up in jail as a serial killer, and my life will basically be over anyway. Can you pleasejust let me handle things and, I don’t know, buzz off?”

“That would be boring.”

“You’re thousands of years old. You don’t need me to amuse you. Find some other human to toy with. I don’t need the devil’s protection.”

Azariel pursed his lips. “Well, it’s all you’ve got right now.”

“And I’m telling you, I don’t want it. I know the cost associated with it way too well.” I grimaced, hating that I couldn’t get him off my back. Really, I’d seen what contracting with demons resulted in, and I didn’t want any part. Maybe I might not have a guardian angel, but I could live with that. God could decide when I went, guardian angel, demon, or whatever. Not like anything was going to stop Him, and I didn’t want anything to do with this demon since it seriously increased my chances of ending up dead.

Azariel had been silent for too long. He looked like he was in pain, but then the expression flashed away, replaced with the usual smugness he projected. “What if I said I’d stop being your guardian demon?”

“On what conditions? My immortal soul?” I crossed my arms. “Come on, Azariel, what do you take me for? A fool?”

“Well… You did almost let that man—”

I raised a hand. “Enough. I get the idea. What will I have to give you in return for getting rid of you? Hmm? My firstborn child?”

Azariel shivered in disgust. “Good gods, no. What would I do with a baby? Eat it?”

I gagged. “Seriously? That’s the first thing you come up with?”

He shrugged with an innocent smile. “I’m a demon? Generally, my first idea is the most violent one.”

Unbelievable. “What. Do. You. Want?”

“Well, I’m not going to leave. But I’ll stop being your guardian demon.”

I face-palmed. “That doesn’t get rid of you.”

“Nope. But it does exonerate you of the price you’d have to pay for my guardianship.”

I stalked off down the alley. “Stupid demons. I’m going to snap his neck like a twig one of these days, I swear.”

“I heard that.”

Well, good. He was supposed to.

~~~

Well, that’s it for this week’s Flash Fiction Friday. Hope you enjoyed it. As always, if you have something you’d like to see here, feel free to reach out in the comments or by email!

Thursday Technicalities – Types of Edits

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Introduction

Editing. Doesn’t everyone just love it? Well, some of us do. If you’re like me, one of your favorite parts of the writing process is actually the rewriting and editing stage, at least when there’s not a huge time crunch. I know, I know. It’s weird. Most writers really can’t stand this process, and most writers don’t have a clue how to go about it. Now, most of us are capable enough of catching the stray grammar error or glaring plot hole, but many times, writers–and even published authors–don’t know what it takes to make their book publish-worthy material. That’s the job of their editor.

Which begs the question. How do you know what kind of edit your work needs if you’ve never done this or if you haven’t worked with an editor before? I’m glad you asked because that’s what today’s discussion is all about! Let’s get right into it.

If you’re a beginning writer, chances are you need a deep edit. A deep edit goes through several stages and looks at everything from story structure and big picture stuff to the gritty details of sentence structure and word choice. This is a quite extensive edit, and most freelance editors I’ve spoken to specialize in specific areas, so a deep edit from one editor may be difficult to achieve. This means that, often, a beginner writer may need to find two or even three editors to look at the piece. This obviously isn’t the most fun thing to work with, but if you can find one or two editors who are able to compliment each other’s skill sets to give your piece a well-rounded edit, that’s usually easiest. For those of you in this situation, the key is to look for an editor or editors who note that they’re good with content editing, structural editing, style editing, and presentation editing. For fiction, these areas may not be presented exactly with these titles, so read on to find out what kinds of things fall under each so you have a better idea of what you’re looking for.

If you’re not a beginning writer, you probably know what areas you struggle with frequently. Chances are you don’t struggle with all of them, though you may struggle with more than one. So I’m going to break down the stages of deep editing for both you and the beginners wanting to know what each stage entails. This way, you will have a better idea of what skill set you need to find in an editor to give your book an edit best fit for it.

Content Edit

A content edit is the first step a deep editor takes in editing a piece. In fiction, a content edit is going to take a look at the purpose of the piece, the genre it’s in, and what it contains. The point of this level of editing is essentially to ensure that every major point in the book or story revolves around the purpose, genre, and main idea of the story. This kind of edit gets rid of scenes that might be unnecessary or repetitions of previous scenes that made the point already. It will eliminate rambling and make the piece more concise. It will also focus on adding anything that’s missing. Practically speaking, a content edit is focusing mostly on the plot of the story in fiction and making sure that the book’s scenes make that plot work from beginning to end.

Structure Edit

With this type of edit, the editor is going to shift gears to look at the angle and narrative structure. Depending on the work, there may not be any particular angle, but there will be a narrative structure. This type of editing will make sure that each point in the narrative structure is ordered elegantly and works smoothly with the others.

Style Edit

Here, we start getting into the finer details. A style editor is going to look over the work to remove clutter in your scenes, paragraphs, and sentences. This edit fine tunes and refines the work so that the narrative style really shines. This one is, perhaps, one of the more difficult edits to do because it calls for someone who will really dig down into the piece to look at things like word choices, sentence structure, and pacing using more technical avenues like paragraph and sentence lengths. Having done this before, I can attest to how much work this is. Sometimes, it can be a hard call on whether something is clutter or necessary and whether to use one word instead of another in a specific sentence. However, these changes can make a huge difference in a piece, so if you can’t do this yourself, find someone who can.

Please note that an edit like this doesn’t focus on fixing grammatical errors or presenting things in a clean, professional way on the page. That’s saved for a presentation edit. What this edit will do is improve your narrative style, make your ending resonate with the reader, make your middle flow from paragraph to paragraph seemingly effortlessly, and make your beginning arresting to the reader. If that’s what your book is missing, this is the type of edit you need, so find an editor who specializes in this area.

Presentation Edit

Last editing stage, everyone! In this stage, your editor will worry about the nitty-gritty details of grammar and punctuation. They’re going to look for those pesky misplaced commas or fix misspellings. They’ll read it through to make sure that any leftover sentences that might trip readers up are removed, and they’ll trim the sentences you don’t need if necessary. This stage cleans up your manuscript and makes it ready for presenting in its final form to your reader. If you’re able to do the first three types of edits on your own, it may still pay off to have someone do this sort of edit for a piece. As humans, we’re prone to error, so having someone else take a quick look through our work to clean up any missed problems is usually a very wise decision.

Conclusion

I hope this has been informative for you all! Next week, we’ll start talking about some of the specifics on knowing where your work is at, knowing when to self-edit, and knowing who to hire when you need an editor. This area is one that I see a lot of uncertainty about, particularly with writers new to the editing process, and a lot of mistakes can be made. My hope is that, in the upcoming weeks, I can take some of the stress and confusion out of the process for you!

On Twilight’s Wings – Upcoming Release

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Hey, everyone! My next release is coming up soon, so I’m posting to let you all know a bit about it. On Twilight’s Wings is the first in a series of YA fantasy novels set on an alternate world. The story centers around a web of secrets, a kidnapped bride, a jilted lover, and a dethroned prince. I’ve included the information for the book below.

The soft release for the ebook is on February 15th for those who pre-ordered. However, there are some technical things I have to do to get the book (both ebook and paperback) into the right categories, and I want to give reviewers time to read the book before any reviews are due. As such, the “official” release date will be March 30th. I’m planning to do something to celebrate the launch over on Facebook. Depending on my schedule, it may not be a full-blown launch party, but I’ll probably be doing a giveaway of some type to celebrate the release, and I may share some excerpts from the book or even do some videos with readings. More details will be out about that once I actually finalize plans and figure out what I’m doing.

Blurb:

She is the key to everything.

Until a few months ago, Cat’s only worries were about her foster parents and whether she’ll be shipped off to another boarding school over the summer. Dealing with a painful past and a friendless existence were at the top of her priority list.

All of that is about to change.

Shortly after she finds out that she’ll be remaining home for the summer, the visions, headaches, and terrible pains start. Then a new guy shows up in her quiet neighborhood, and, suddenly, her visions are showing events surrounding him and other strange beings.
Nothing is as it seems.

In this new world, nothing is the way it was, and everything requires her to become more than a frightened foster kid trying to make it through the day. She’s determined to get answers, but the more she sees in her visions, the less certain she is that she wants those answers.

But answers are coming.

Like it or not.

Final Notes:

For those wondering, I do have the sequel written already. I have to go through and do an extensive edit on it, but my plan is to have it out around this same time next year just like I did with this one. I will warn you that there’s a cliff-hanger, but I’m not cruel enough to leave you hanging on that for a full year (unless you really want to wait that long). So, if you head over to my Wattpad profile, you can find the first chapter of the second book there. It resolves the cliffhanger. It isn’t fully edited, I will warn you, but it’s not so bad that I felt embarrassed to leave it up, for whatever that’s worth.

You can get a copy of the book on Amazon or Kobo, and, later on, I will also be putting it up on Barnes and Noble if Nook or a paperback that isn’t from Amazon happen to be your preferences for reading. I’ll be putting up links for the book once I have everything all settled and sorted out.

If you guys want a free copy of the book, I have ARC copies available. You can apply to get a review copy from me at StoryOrigin or email me, and we can discuss a timeline for it. If you’re looking to read the book but don’t feel you can justify purchasing it at this moment in time, I get it. This is a great way for you to read it in exchange for a review instead of purchasing a copy. Otherwise, the pre-order is available on Amazon, and the book is already out on Kobo (since the background stuff Amazon makes me go through to categorize it the way it should be categorized isn’t necessary on Kobo, so far as I know.).

Parents, this book is intended for a slightly older teen audience. It does involve some discussion of abuse, sexual harassment, and rape due to the nature of one of the character’s pasts and the ongoing situation in the book. However, aside from a few scenes that mention it or points where the main character opens up about her past, nothing is shown. I’ve kept content PG-13 and as sensitive to these difficult topics as I could. That said, the book is probably best suited for teens who are at least 15 and have the ability to understand the seriousness of these topics as well as that these behaviors are never okay.

If these kinds of things are triggering to you, you may want to steer clear of the book. While the main character overcomes her past throughout the course of the book, the journey to get there is difficult and long. If that’s going to bother you, then the book probably isn’t for you. I understand that not every book will be for everyone, and I want to make sure my work doesn’t cause mental distress to people unnecessarily or without prior warning, particular on issues like these.

Work-In-Progress Wednesday #35

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This week’s work-in-progress is a small bit from a short dystopian romance story I started. Enjoy!

~~~

Something snapped in the distance, and she lifted a finger to her lips. The sweep was happening. They’d have to be absolutely still and silent if they didn’t want to be caught. Luckily, her companion stayed quiet and didn’t move. A light flashed overhead, and the crackle of the energy field washed over her skin. When neither of them moved, the beam continued on its way in moments, and she sagged back against the wall in relief.

“What was that?”

“The reason they don’t need guards for the exterior of this building. As for your other question, that’s something I’d rather answer well away from this place. If my father catches me here again, he’s likely to sell me off to the whore houses directly or to enslave me to one of his own masters.” She grabbed the stranger’s wrist and ignored the strange wash of warmth that cascaded through her at the contact.

He didn’t protest, and she dragged him out of the bushes, darting toward the fence. “Hurry. There’s not much time before the next sweep. They always come in pairs.”

The man picked up the pace. To the left, she could hear the hum and snap that foretold the approach of the field. She bolted for the hole just behind her new acquaintance, and together they scrambled underneath it. On the other side, they lay on the ground side-by-side, and Eltara stared up at the stars while she regained her breath.

“Alright, explain. What’s with the weird beam, why was it so easy to get past the fence, and why would your own father ever sell you into slavery?”

Well, he just had to ask all the hard questions, didn’t he? “The beam of light is an invention they created about ten years ago to eliminate the need for guards outside this complex. Too inefficient to patrol, I guess. It will send out an alarm signal to my father, the head of the Mors Animi, and to all the guards inside the building, if it finds any trace of human movement. The program is designed to ignore the usual animals that lurk about the building at night. If either of us had moved or made a noise while the wave passed over us, we would’ve been caught.”

“Good thing I stayed quiet then.” He groaned. “You’re lucky I didn’t ask another question. I wanted to.”

“Yes, well, good thing you didn’t. We’d probably both end up dead or hooked up to the machine in there, our minds being drained into whatever abysmal reality my father chooses to torment us.”

~~~

I hope you guys enjoyed this! What are you guys reading or writing these days? I’m always happy to hear about it, and I’m currently open to new book suggestions, particularly if they’re ones you guys might like to see reviewed on The Fantasy Nook. (To be considered for review, the books do need to be some genre of fantasy, and they can’t be erotica. I have a few younger readers and would like to avoid creating an unsafe or inappropriate environment for them, so I don’t review that sort of stuff.)

If you want to share, you can do so in the comments or, for book suggestions, feel free to shoot me an email if that’s more your cup of tea! Until next week, happy writing and reading, everyone!

Saturday Setups – Factors to Consider

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Introduction

Last time, we talked about languages and developing them, but this week, we’re going to briefly go over some factors to consider. Building languages is complex, so it’s important to break it down and go part by part. How far you go with it obviously depends, as we said last time, on what you want and need out of this exercise. Some people may just decide they need a few common sounds and aren’t concerned about an entire working vocabulary. Others will choose to go all out. Regardless, there are some factors you should consider when building the language.

Readability

First off, you should consider readability. Your reader is going to be seeing names and, in many cases, at least some words from the language you’re building. If you create a name like Aldafhjfd or some other such strange combination, people will have trouble processing it. Granted, even in real life, we’ve got names or words that we don’t know exactly how to pronounce, especially if we’re looking at a language like Gaelic or Welsh and don’t know the pronunciation rules. We’re likely to get it wrong. But we can still process it. We can still assign some method of pronunciation to the word, even if it might be wrong.

As writers, we expect that when we create our names or use unusual names from other cultures in real life, we’re going to have some subset of readers who may get close but a much larger subset that won’t get even close. So, our goal isn’t to worry about whether or not they can pronounce it properly.

Chances are that most of you wouldn’t know how to pronounce the name Leorithdhil, but you could probably come up with something that made sense to you, and you’d be content with it for the duration of the novel if need be. It doesn’t matter to me that you can’t pronounce it right. It does matter to me that you don’t trip up on the name or the word every time you see it. If you’re stopping to try to wrap your head around the sound of a word or name whenever you come across it, I’ve failed because those couple of seconds (or minutes, if you’re like me and try out every possible pronunciation method trying to figure it out) are seconds you can choose to stop reading because you’re no longer involved in the story.

That’s bad!

I don’t want you all to stop reading, and you don’t want your readers to do so either. So, before you do anything else, readability and ease of access for the readers should be at the top of your list of concerns.

SImplifying to Keep Your Sanity

Guys, let’s just be honest here. Building a language is hard. If you’re trying to build it from grammar rules up, it may make you want to tear your hair out, no matter how happy you are with the end result. I should know because I’ve done this. I still have stuff I’m tweaking with the language I’ve been building, but much of the grammatical side is already in place because I love grammar, syntax rules, and language in general. (If you couldn’t tell…) In spite of my love for those things, there were times when I sat and stared at the page in despair because I couldn’t figure out how to handle a problem that had arisen with the rules I’d created or with the way something fit together.

No matter what, you’ll have those moments if you do any extensive language building, just as you will with extensive world-building in general. However, you don’t have to dissolve yourself into a mushy mess that can’t think or function. Simplification is allowed. You’re not trying to create a language people in real life would be able to use for every situation. Even Tolkien didn’t do that, though he did give his fans a highly-developed, impressively functional language with more vocabulary than most language constructions have. Despite that, he still didn’t give them the amount of vocabulary necessary for every day conversation.

So, don’t feel you have to either. Create what you need first, then worry about adding to it as you feel like it, not worrying about or stressing out over it. Once you’ve developed what you need, the rest is icing on the cake. It isn’t necessary and shouldn’t be something that makes you want to bang your head into a brick wall repeatedly.

Simplification comes in quite a few forms. You could choose to remove letters from the alphabet, as we discussed last time, you could borrow grammar rules from other languages in real life, you could borrow sounds from languages around you, or you could even decide to limit yourself to creating words only as you need them. Whatever form of simplification you choose, do implement some simplification method(s). It will keep you sane!

How Much is too much

The last area of consideration I’ll cover is more of a question than anything. How much is too much? You need to figure this out before you start building, particularly if you’re going to use the simplification method of building only what you need. Knowing how much is going to be too much for your novel is really important. It keeps you from overloading your story and your reader with the overabundance of building you’ve done in this area.

Every story is going to be different in its requirements and what you can and cannot get away with. Every audience will have different expectations of you as an author and of the area of language building in particular. Know what those requirements, restrictions, and expectations are. If you don’t know them, you’re highly likely to disappoint your readers with too much or, in some cases, too little.

Once you know what your story and its audience require, limit yourself. Don’t go to the extreme of too much. Include what you know will be tolerable and enjoyable for your readers.

If you want to build beyond that, then collect it somewhere for your reference and for the reference of enthusiastic fans if you have them. There may be some fans who really want to learn more about this world you’ve built and the languages in it, but don’t write the book for those fans because they won’t be the majority. If you pander to them, you’re going to drive away your main audience: readers who just want a good story in your genre. Instead, make the further resources on the world and its culture, languages, and more available to those super-fans who really want to dig into it, but make it available outside the story. A glossary and further resources for readers section on your website is one good way to do this.

Conclusion

In the end, when language building, you have a lot of technicalities to consider. But those technicalities need to be framed properly with an understanding of your audience and their needs. Go with what your audience needs to access and enjoy your story. Leave the rest in notebooks for your own personal enjoyment or reference.

Flash Fiction Fridays – First Meetings

Featured Ariel Paiement

This week’s flash fiction is about Leo’s parents and their first meeting. If you’ve ever wondered how his mother ended up stuck in such an awful situation, this answers that. Enjoy!

~~~

She held her head as high as she could and looked him in the eye. Pale violet blended out into a deeper shade of indigo, and she stared just as much as he stared at her. A shiver went down her spine. No warmth lingered in his gaze. He was cold. Even colder than the slave traders who had brought her here.

The way station’s travelers bustled outside the large three room house where they were kept. None of them had any idea what went on in here. None of them knew that she would probably leave this building with one of the men here today. But she held her head high anyway and forced back the tears. No help was coming. No one on the outside could do anything even if they knew, and she couldn’t pull them into this mess. The men here were all powerful in their own rights, and none of them would think twice about killing anyone who intervened. She’d seen it happen.

The violet-eyed man stalked to her position in the line, his gaze never leaving hers. A challenge flared to life there, as if he were daring her to run from him, daring her to find out that she wasn’t so strong after all. She tensed and fought the urge to lower her gaze and to hide from him. He stopped right in front of her and reached out to grip her chin between his fingers. She flinched, and a cruel smile curved his lips. He could’ve been carved from marble for all he cared about how he made her feel. He was even worse than the men leaving with their new slaves. They might afford their slaves some dignity. This man? He would break anyone he chose, and she was the unlucky soul he’d chosen. He might not have bought her yet, but he would. She knew the look in his eye. Saw it all the time, in fact.

“What’s your name, girl?” His low voice washed over her in warm baritones.

His voice didn’t belong with a man so hard. She lowered her gaze, unable to stand staring into those cold, hard eyes.

His grip tightened. “Do not make me ask again. I will take you into one of the back rooms and beat it out of you.”

She bit back a cry at the sudden pain in her jaw. “It’s Anne, Master.”

“It’s Caladhor. From now on, you will address me by sir or by my name.”

She licked her lips. How was she to know which to use when?

“Is that understood?”

“How do I know which to use?” She glanced up at him.

“It depends on my mood. If I look like I might want to kill you, sir might be most appropriate. If I’m pleased with you, my name will do. You’ll figure it out. And if you don’t pick up quick…” He released her with a sharp smile. “Well, never mind that. I think you’ll figure it out quickly enough.”

She swallowed hard. “Yes, sir.”

“You’re figuring it out already.” His grin widened. “Though I don’t want to kill you just yet.”

Anne didn’t say anything. If he was hoping for a response, she wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction. She would do what she had to in order to live, but she wasn’t going to let him break her. She wouldn’t lose her spirit no matter what he did to her. He walked off to talk to the slave traders, and she watched the gold change hands. Inside, she was numb now. When Caladhor returned and grabbed her by the arm, she let him drag her out of the house without a word. Like it or not, a new life awaited, and this man would be the one who decided her fate. She would make sure she found a way to have a good one.

~~~

That’s it for this week, everybody! I hope you all enjoyed. If you have something specific you want me to write for this section of the blog, feel free to shoot me an email or leave a comment! I’m always happy to see new ideas and new writing prompts, particularly if they’re ones that would be more interesting to you all!

Thursday Technicalities – Sorting It Out: Constructive or Destructive?

Featured Ariel Paiement

Introduction

We talked about how to find critiquers and beta-readers as well as about how to figure out what kind you need, but let’s talk about one last important thing regarding this area before we move on to a new discussion. You have to know how to sort out the constructive feedback you get from the destructive feedback. So let’s dive in and talk about each.

Constructive Criticism

We’ll start with constructive feedback or criticism. This is, obviously, the kind you want, but sometimes it can be hard to tell whether something is constructive or not. Not everyone who offers destructive feedback is a troll or someone who just hates you and your book. Many times, they’re very well-intentioned and think they’re helping. So, how do you know the difference in those cases?

First, constructive feedback is going to be relevant. It will be commentary on areas that don’t fit the needs of your audience, things that are just outright incorrect (usually grammatically), or areas that aren’t clear. This by no means an exhaustive list, but typically, constructive criticism is going to focus more on what is wrong than specific ways to fix it. The ways of fixing it come as you have a discussion with the individual offering the feedback. While that individual may offer some ideas for how you might go about fixing something, they may not always know, so more questions are typically necessary to figure out what the best solution for the problem will be.

Please note that we’re talking about people doing more of a high-level review of your book. They themselves may not be writers, and they very rarely are editors. You want your critique partner or beta-reader to be someone from your audience, not someone looking at your book for how to make it read like a best-seller. An editor, if you have chosen well, will know enough about writing and, ideally, your genre to know whether or not something will work to make your fiction marketable, not just a bunch of text you put together in a semi-useful way. The editor does a different job from a critique partner or beta-reader, so you won’t handle that interaction exactly the same way.

Second, constructive feedback will be specific. What do I mean by that? Well, you’re trying to make sure everything in your book is clear, engaging, and focused. A reader will notice points in the book where this isn’t the case, and if you’re getting good feedback from a beta-reader or critiquer, they will too, and they will make note of it. They will not offer you a general, vague opinion of the book. That’s something a general reader might do, but it’s not much use to you if you need to fix anything.

Finally, constructive feedback will be an honest assessment. And by honest, I mean frank about the good and the bad. Constructive feedback has to recognize both what you’re doing well and what you’re not so that you can keep the good and fix the bad. If all it points out is the good stuff or only the bad, you’re imbalanced in your perspective. Only good things will result in an inflated view of how good the book really is. But overwhelming commentary on all of the bad undermines your confidence, causes you to write poorly, and results in you–most often–changing even those things that weren’t bad to start. The person offering the feedback will, of course, have their own biases, but you want to find someone who will offer their opinion in addition to clear feedback on things that are obviously working well or working poorly. You don’t want them to try to change the entire point of the story, but you do want them to help you see what you may not.

Destructive Feedback

In most ways, destructive feedback is the opposite of constructive feedback. So we’ll just briefly go over what signs to watch for with destructive feedback. Destructive feedback will often be feedback that tries to change the heart of the story. It isn’t correcting a problem that actually is real. Instead, it’s just feedback on everything the reader personally didn’t like about the book and an essay on what they would write if they were you. That’s clearly not helpful, and if you follow that kind of advice, your book will change with every reader. You’ll end up destroying anything that was good about the book to start.

Destructive feedback is also feedback that’s irrelevant, too general, or unbalanced. Any of these can derail a book and the entire story you were trying to tell. Allowing someone who predominantly offers this kind of feedback to influence your decision-making process is extremely unwise.

A Word of Caution

Please know that many people give a mix of the two kinds of feedback. Unless they really just hated the story, they’re probably going to have some feedback that is helpful and constructive with some feedback that is destructive mixed in there as well. It’s just how this sort of thing tends to work because everyone has different ideas of what makes a good book. Not everything you have will be their preference, even if it might not be a problem. That’s why getting a few different people to critique or beta-read is extremely useful for writers.

In the end, unless someone is only giving you destructive feedback, don’t toss them out as a possible option simply because you see some destructive feedback in the mix. Be fair and be realistic. If you were reviewing something for someone, you’d have a mix of feedback too. And if you were the one doing it, you wouldn’t think twice. A mix of feedback would be acceptable. So, afford your critiquers and beta-readers the same leniency you’d give yourself here. Just make sure that, when you look at the feedback, you sort through to see what you should keep and what you should toss.

Conclusion

That’s it for today’s Thursday Technicalities. I hope this has been helpful for you all! This also concludes the section on critiquers and beta-readers. On upcoming Thursday Technicalities, we’ll be discussing editors and the principles surrounding the editing process. I hope to see you all join me for those posts as I know this is an area that many authors are unsure about, particularly when it comes to self-published authors. Until then, have a great week!