This week’s WIP Wednesday excerpt is from In Darkness Lost. I’m still finishing up some last edits, which I was kind of hoping I wouldn’t be doing at this point, but hey… Plans don’t always work out quite according to our wishes. So, this week’s excerpt comes from some of the newer content that’s been added or rearranged.
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RUNNING didn’t help. Dairdra collapsed onto her bed, gasping for breath. Her sides cramped, and she sucked in deep breaths. Closing her eyes, she ran her fingers along the velvety smoothness of her comforter and tried to focus on the gentle current of warm air wafting from the fireplace. The air blew the bed’s gauze curtains against her arms, and the touch pulled her back to the present. She opened her eyes and blinked, her head throbbing.
The warm light of the fire played over the ceiling and gave the room a pleasant, cozy atmosphere. But it didn’t bring any comfort to her. Her chest ached and she buried her face in the silk pillow. Even the release of crying was denied to her, and she lay there, motionless, in tense silence.
She didn’t understand. Why did it have to be her mother? She was too young to shoulder her mother’s load or to take her place. She still needed the one parent who took time for her. She sat up and fisted the comfort in her fingers with a shuddering breath. She suddenly had to move, couldn’t stand sitting on the bed like everything was as it usually was. She moved down onto the floor and sat down.
Still restless, she rocked back and forth on her heels. How was it that one thing had so much power to destroy? Just one minute was all it had taken, and now her life had become a disaster.
She tried to find some bright spot, some hope to cling to, but she couldn’t find anything. Her throat tightened, and the walls of her room suddenly seemed so much closer, the room darker than before. She huddled there on her floor, drew her knees up to her chest. But she couldn’t seem to shake that lost, empty feeling settling into the pit of her stomach. Could anyone fix this? Or would she feel lost and empty forever?
Tears welled up behind her closed lids, then broke free of her lashes and dripped down onto the blue silk of her dress. Stop. This is a time for action and duty, not for crying. She should get up and go speak to her father about what she needed to do with her mother out of commission. She lifted her head and dashed away the tears. Sucking in a deep breath, she rested her forehead against her knees.
Work offered a course of action and a way to escape the growing darkness. She could throw herself into her duties, numb herself to the pain with work. But what were her duties? Her mother spoke of only the organization aspects of the job and the finer points of interacting with the court. She had no idea what else was required because what was required changed based upon what the King demanded of his consort.
Once again, she was reminded of how alone she was. That only added to the yawning void centering in her chest. Since she’d reached adolescence, she’d been dreaming of the man she’d marry. She’d had her hopes too, though she’d only spoken of it once or twice with her mother.
Those hopes had been encouraged, but nothing had come of them because she wasn’t allowed to wed until her eighteenth, a rite of passage she’d reached just a few months back. Besides, the man of her dreams and her secret fantasies had been nothing but a best friend and attentive servant since she’d met him on the day he’d entered the palace as her mother’s protegee. And she’d never felt the disappointment more keenly than she did now when nothing seemed certain anymore.
She rubbed her aching temples. Well, of that was a bridge she’d have to cross when it came to it. For now, it was pointless to add any other worries to the already insurmountable pile. She pushed herself to her feet and dragged her aching body to the bathroom. She hadn’t expected to be this sore from the day’s activities.
Maybe it was her body’s response to the shock. She hadn’t really processed everything that had happened until now, and suddenly she felt tired. Too tired to bother with anything. But going to bed and sleeping away the hours until this was over wasn’t an option.
She splashed cold water from the wash basin over her face and dried it. A quick glance in the mirror confirmed that it hadn’t done much to hide the red-rimmed eyes that were evidence of her pain. But at least she didn’t have tear stains streaking her face.
She turned away from the mirror and shuffled out of her room. Might as well get the things she needed to do accomplished. Maybe then she could collapse and give her body and heart a chance to accept what had happened today. She drifted down the empty colonnaded halls.
The halls were so pristine, and their white, splendid beauty made her heart ache. How could anything be so put-together while she was falling to pieces? It didn’t seem fair. The silver plants that gave Argent her name had always made her smile before, but now they didn’t inspire any emotion at all. They stood in their pots along the rows of columns, but their glittering beauty was distant now, not close and personal.
Everything was cold and distant, and Dairdra’s stomach dropped. She’d never felt loneliness so sharply. Would anything ever feel right again?
That question had no answer. The realization was almost enough to send her running back to her room again. At least there she could close the drapes and hide in darkness. At least her bedroom was a place she could let her control slip. Here, she couldn’t, and she had to bear the pain stoically. She had to be cold and distant just like the plants she used to love so much.
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That’s it for this week! I hope you all enjoyed it. What have you all been working on? Feel free to share in the comments!
