Thursday Technicalities: Sentence Structure and Its Impact

February 24, 2020February 24, 2020 Ariel Paiement1 Comment

Introduction

This week, we’re going to take a look at sentence structure. This is where we’ll start for our discussions on the grammar side of writing. If you haven’t already, you should go read my last Thursday Technicalities post on grammar and why it’s important. Once you’ve done that, come back and take a look at sentence structure with me in this article.

Types of Sentence Structures

Some of you may have learned this while others may not have. So, I’m going to briefly discuss the types of sentence structures. Then we’ll take a look at how those structures can be used to create various effects in your writing. That’s the really interesting part that everyone’s actually curious about, right?

First on the list, we have the simple sentence. This consists of a subject and a predicate (one subject, one verb). This would include sentences such as “I run.” or “He plays.” These sentences shouldn’t have a conjunction or a dependent clause.

Next on the list, there’s compound. This sentence structure takes two independent clauses (these would be things that stand on their own as simple sentences), and combines them with a coordinating conjunction (ie: and, or, but, not, etc.).

Third on the list, you have your complex sentence. Here, you have your independent clause, but you tack on a dependent clause. It might read something like this: “If Stacy goes to the mall, I will come.” In this instance, If Stacy goes to the mall is dependent on the independent clause, I will come. So, it’s complex.

Last on the list, we have the compound-complex sentence. This one more or less combines the compound and the complex sentence structures, as the name implies. You’ll need at least two independent clauses and a dependent clause to form this type of sentence structure. The sentence contains both conjunctions and subordinators.

For example, “If Stacy goes to the mall, I will come, and Rob will too,” is a compound-complex sentence. If Stacy goes to the mall forms your dependent clause. I will come is an independent clause. And is the conjunction, and Rob will too is another independent clause. If, in this case, is the subordinator as it is introducing the dependent clause.

Using Sentence Structure for Impact

Now for the fun part. It hardly does much good to know what the sentence structure options are if you don’t know how to effectively use them. So, what does sentence structure do to your story?

Pacing

The first very obvious thing it will do to your story has to do with pacing. Imagine you’re working on a scene that’s tense. Maybe it’s a romantic scene where the couple has finally taken a leap and the guy proposed to the girl. Or, maybe it’s an action scene and there’s a car chase going on.

What kind of sentence structure do you think is best for this? What you choose will convey the urgency or take away from it. If you choose to use a lot of long sentences (such as your compound-complex sentence structure), you’ll bog yourself down. It doesn’t read quickly, and the reader starts to lose focus or interest without even knowing why.

Here’s why. Your writing may be good, but if you didn’t choose a sentence structure to convey the energy of the scene, it just feels off to the reader. It doesn’t grab their attention, and it quickly makes them fall asleep when they should be on the edge of their seat with anticipation.

As a general rule of thumb, you want to use more shorter and choppier sentences for fast-paced scenes and longer, smoother ones for the slower, richer scenes. This helps create a pacing that strings the reader along with you as you weave the story for them.

Changing Things Up

One thing that many beginning writers (and even more advanced writers, in some cases) struggle with is repetition in sentence structure. Maybe the writer prefers short, simple sentences or is prone to long-winded compound-complex sentences that span an entire paragraph. Likely, we’ve all seen authors who fall somewhere on that spectrum.

But there’s one thing that repetitiveness assures. Boredom and irritation. Sentence structure helps to alleviate that when used with variety and wisely.

If you’ve had a lot of short, choppy sentences all in a row, it helps the reader if you throw in a longer sentence to give them a minute to catch their breath. Going back to the earlier point about pacing, you don’t want to create the wrong feeling for the piece, but you also don’t want to entirely wear the reader out or put them to sleep.

Whether you’ve had long, elegant sentences or short, simple ones, using another sentence structure opposite of the previously used structure in the right place can help to give readers a chance to rest or keep them from falling asleep.

Sound and Feel

In a word, sentence structure affects your overall aesthetic. How you say things matters, and sentence structure is interwoven in the very fabric of what you’ve said and how.

This means that if you choose the right sentence structure, the piece will flow in the readers’ minds as they read. It will feel natural, not forced. It will be a beautiful thing, a work of art instead of some words slapped hastily on a page.

One thing I recommend to those who are wondering if their sentence structure feels right is to read it aloud. Doing this forces you not to skip words or try to insert things into the text mentally as you read. Your brain does these things automatically when you edit, so it takes time to train it not to. One of the easiest ways to do that is to read it out loud, either to yourself or to someone else.

It may feel awkward at first to do so, but I promise it helps. As a bonus, it helps you catch other problems or mistakes as well. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve caught a spelling mistake or grammar error simply because I was reading something to someone else. Don’t be afraid of it not being perfect. It won’t be. Never will be, in fact. And that’s okay. You’re not the first to write an awful rough draft, and you won’t be the last. It’s a rough draft for a reason.

Conclusion

Well, that’s it for today! I hope this post has proved helpful. Do you have any other ways that sentence structure has affected your writing? If you do, feel free to leave it in the comments below! If you have any questions, you can leave them in the comments as well, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

Thursday Technicalities: Grammar and Why It’s Important

February 24, 2020February 24, 2020 Ariel Paiement

Introduction

Hey, everyone! Today, we’re going to talk a little bit about grammar. I know, I know… It’s one of the least enjoyable things about writing for lots of people. In fact, I can’t think of any other area of editing or critiquing others’ writing where I’ve been told more times not to pay attention to it in favor of critiquing something else.

So, today we’re going to talk about it and why you need it.

Why Does It Matter?

Lots of beginning writers and even ones who have been writing for a long while seem to feel grammar isn’t as important as the story. In one way, they’re right. In another, they’re very, very wrong.

How can it be both at once? Simple. It’s true that a story with impeccable grammar but terrible plot and characters won’t go anywhere. But at the same time, it’s also true that how you use grammar to tell that story will either shoot your publishing dreams in the foot or make your book stand out that much more.

Grammar matters.

Plain and simple. Whether you hate it or not, it matters. If you can’t write proper sentences or follow the rules, you can’t break them. Or at least, you can’t do so in a way that makes anyone want to keep reading. A few grammar mistakes here and there may not cost you much, but if you decide that proofreading and grammar don’t matter, you’re going to pay dearly in readers.

In a way, grammar is the bedrock of your novel. You have to have it to form the structure and the framework that is the story. Sure, it’s not the part of the house everyone notices. It isn’t necessarily flashy or ornate. Maybe it’s not even fun to look at. But it is necessary or the house topples.

Conclusion

Take the time to really understand the basics of grammar. If you don’t already, do so. I understand that it’s difficult and can sometimes be a bit confusing, especially if English isn’t your first language. But if you’re going to write in English (or your native tongue, even) understand the rules for doing so. It’s going to be one more tool in your tool box, and it’s going to make your writing that much more pleasurable to read because the grammar won’t intrude on the story.

It will set the stage, just as it’s supposed to. But it won’t overshadow the actors on that stage because it is done correctly. That is the importance of grammar.

In upcoming Thursday Technicalities posts, we’ll go over some of the grammar rules that can have a big impact on your story. I’ll show you how these aspects can be used as tools to tell your story your way. Until next time, everyone! Have a great rest of your week.

Feel free to ask questions in the comments if you have them.

Thursday Technicalities: Dialogue Do’s and Don’ts

February 24, 2020February 24, 2020 Ariel Paiement1 Comment

Last week, we went over dialogue tags and action beats. This week we’re going to talk formatting and the do’s and don’ts when it comes to dialogue! So let’s get started.

Dialogue Do’s

Do make sure your dialogue is paragraphed properly. Each time the speaker changes, the dialogue of the new speaker starts a new paragraph. Ie:

“I don’t know why you’re being so stubborn, Damien.” Lucy crossed her arms.
“Because I can be? Seeing you upset is too much fun to pass up.”

Do use proper punctuation for dialogue tags vs action beats. Ie:

Dialogue tags:
“What do you mean she isn’t here? She promised,” Evan muttered.
or
“I thought you were going on vacation. You,” Jane said, “have a serious issue with sticking to your plans.”
Action beats:
“I don’t understand. You’re leaving?” Maria toyed with the hem of her t-shirt. “Why?”
or
“What’s the problem? You didn’t object before.” Carson leaned against the car door.

The key is that dialogue tags use commas to end the last sentence of dialogue before the tag while action beats use periods.

Do make sure to use action beats and dialogue tags only as needed. They’re not for propping up weak dialogue. For further discussion of this, read my post on Dialogue Tags vs Action Beats.
Do make it sound as natural as possible. You want it to mimic how people speak in real life without including redundant or pointless information. The occasional uh or um is fine, but the key is not to overdo it. We’re simulating real life, not copying it word-for-word.
Do read it out loud! This is the quickest way to catch stiff or otherwise bad dialogue. Your mind might not catch it, but your ear most likely will.
Do realize that dialogue tells us a lot about the character. Make good use of this as a technique to characterize your various characters and differentiate between them.

Dialogue Don’ts

Don’t overdo it with the action beats or dialogue tags. It will make your strong dialogue look weak and the piece overall look like an amateur wrote it.
Don’t use it as a way to tell the reader everything. If you can show it in a scene, do so. Only tell things through dialogue when it’s essential to do so.
Don’t have every character speak in the same way. We should be able to differentiate between at least the main characters by the way they talk and act.
Don’t use single quotation marks for dialogue. As a general rule of thumb, double quotes are the appropriate way to denote something as dialogue.
Don’t italicize or bold individual words in the dialogue for emphasis unless it’s absolutely necessary. And it almost never is because you can usually find a way to word things that will make it clear what is important to the character speaking without the use of italics or bold words.
Don’t have dialogue that stretches over a page in length. As a general rule, readers will lose interest if a character is on a monologue for that long. Besides, pages of dialogue from one character or even a few usually indicates an imbalance in the writing and telling instead of showing, neither of which are good.
Don’t write it exactly how you or someone else would talk. The goal is to write something that sounds like it could’ve been said by a real person without all the extra fluff that often occurs in real, everyday dialogue. Basically, cut all the boring stuff and get straight to the good stuff.
Don’t use semi-colons or colons in dialogue. Just don’t. Dashes or commas work fine. Periods too. But not semi-colons or colons.

Conclusion

These should be enough to get you started on dialogue. There are more advanced concepts that I may discuss later on at some point, but if you follow the rules of thumb given above, you should be alright. Above all, writing good dialogue takes practice. It’s not easy, but it is worth investing your time into. So just spend time listening to how people talk and then translate that into dialogue snippets just to practice.

Have a question I didn’t answer? Feel free to leave it in the comments for me. I’ll do my best to help out!

Thursday Technicalities: Dialogue Tags & Action Beats

February 24, 2020February 24, 2020 Ariel Paiement

Introduction

This week, we’re going to take a look at dialogue. I’ve seen so many writers do this wrong, and to be fair, it’s hard to figure out sometimes. The rules don’t work the same way as regular sentence rules do. And then there’s the dialogue tags and actions beats to worry about!

Assuming a beginner knows how to use a tag or beat and when, punctuation often gets messed up. More often then not, beginning (and even intermediate) writers don’t know what a tag versus a beat is or when to use them, and punctuation is definitely a struggle.

So, for those of you who have always struggled with this topic or are just starting out and need direction, we’ll break it down one piece at a time and make this a little easier.

This week, we’re just going to focus on tags and beats because that’s already enough information to process without adding anything else. Next week, we’ll talk about some other aspects of dialogue that are important.

Tags vs. Beats

To start out, let’s cover tags vs beats. You can’t punctuate your dialogue correctly if you don’t know the difference because they aren’t dealt with the same way.

Beats

Now that we’ve covered what a dialogue tag is and when to use them, let’s take a look at beats. Beats are actions that the speaker performs. They go with the dialogue in the same paragraph because the dialogue and the action belong to the same person.

Consider the same example I used earlier but with action beats instead of dialogue tags:

“Megan.” Dane slammed his book down on the end table. “Megan, could you please calm down and listen? I can explain.”

“Dane slammed his book down on the end table” is the action beat here. Notice that you can use an action beat to break up sections of dialogue if it makes sense to do so.

Just like dialogue tags, beats have their own pitfalls. Using too many can be as detrimental to your dialogue’s pacing as too many dialogue tags are. Let’s look at the example I gave with the dialogue between Mary and Eric again with action beats added in.

“Anna said she couldn’t come.” Mary crossed her arms.
“Why not?” Eric leaned against the kitchen door-frame.
“Because she’s busy. Or so she claims.” She paced the kitchen with a sigh.
“She’s always busy.” Eric ran a hand through his hair.
“I know. But what am I supposed to do?” Mary stopped pacing and faced him. “Drag her out of the apartment?”
“Yes, if that’s what it takes.” Eric pushed away from the doorway and stalked off.

Exhausting, right? It doesn’t read smoothly at all, and it’s honestly an eye sore. So how could we clean this example up and use the right amount of action? The key is to use the action beats to help set the scene. They should be reminders of where the characters are or what they’re doing, but they shouldn’t intrude on your dialogue.

If they are, you’ve got a problem. Either your dialogue is too weak to stand alone, or it’s going to appear weak because you tacked on an action beat unnecessarily.

Let’s look at that example again and see how it might be done better.

“Anna said she couldn’t come.” Mary eyed Eric as he came in from the yard.
“Why not?”
“Because she’s busy. Or so she claims.”
“What’s new? She’s always busy.”
“I know. But what am I supposed to do?” Mary crossed her arms. “Drag her out of the apartment?”
He shrugged. “If that’s what it takes.”

In this case, you no longer use so many action beats, but the effect is much better. The middle sections don’t need the support of action beats because the dialogue conveys the speakers’ emotions and intent on its own. But you do need some clarification of what they’re doing on occasion just to remind the reader that the characters are more than talking heads.

Conclusion

That’s a crash course in dialogue tags versus action beats. For those who are just starting out or aren’t completely solid on this, I hope this has helped. For those of you who already know how this works, next week’s article on dialogue may provide more useful information.

I know this can be somewhat confusing at first, so if anyone has questions, please feel free to drop them in the comments below! I or someone else who’s comfortable with the topic can help answer them for you.

The Fantasy Nook is Migrating

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Hi everyone! This is just to let you know that I am migrating all existing content on this domain over to Bluehost Self-Hosted services with WordPress.org. The domain will stay the same, so it shouldn’t mess up your ability to access the site, nor will the content be changed or missing. But, due to the way I have to export, I’m not 100% sure if you guys will be exported as followers to the new site.

So, this is just a heads up that you may want to double check that you’re still following if you want to keep getting notifications for the content that goes up! Otherwise, you can just check in on the days you normally read blog posts and view the new content at the top of the blog as always. Whatever you’re happiest doing, but I wanted everyone to know so no one would be confused or unsure what was going on. I’ve never done this before, so I’m entirely new to it and am doing my best to find out how I can make the process as smooth as possible. Thanks for your patience, guys!

Flash Fiction Fridays – Intergalactic Space Tours

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My most recent writing post on Pinterest was a prompt about someone who goes on an intergalactic space tour only to discover there’s more to the guide assigned to them than meets the eye. Since it got a lot of views and attention, I thought you guys might enjoy seeing my spin on it. Here it is!

~~~

Elmora peeked around the corner of her bathroom door at the man sitting on her room’s couch. He didn’t notice her. Too engrossed in checking his personal holo while he waited for her to come out of the bathroom. He was supposed to take her to the ship’s dining hall for dinner and then out onto the surface of the planet they’d landed on. Shyn, was it? Or maybe Shryn? She couldn’t keep the places straight anymore. The things she’d seen just blended into a kaleidoscope of colorful cultures, new foods, and a few unpleasant surprises.

Unpleasant surprises were the reason she was now hiding in the bathroom. Thryen was one of the unpleasant surprises, to be more specific. Well, maybe not unpleasant. She couldn’t really decide if it was pleasant or unpleasant to run into him here. But she definitely didn’t like the fact that he’d lied to her about what he’d been up to the last few years. She sucked in a slow breath and pressed her back to the wall. Should she confront him about it? Ask him why he’d left a life of luxury and peace to be a tour guide, of all things, aboard the InterGalactic?

Well, it had to be faced at some point, didn’t it? Equally pressing was the small matter of his interest in her and the utter lack of subtlety he exercised in showing it. Heat rose in her cheeks. It wasn’t fair. She shouldn’t be assigned a guide that couldn’t hide his interest and kept secrets. To think she’d thought they’d be good friends when they’d first met during on of his assignments on Earth.

She shook her head and smoothed down her skirt before stepping out of the bathroom. Thyren looked up at her, and one of his rare smiles spread over his lips. “Ora, the dress looks lovely on you.”

The heat in her cheeks rose to the tips of her ears. “Thanks. I guess… Thyren?”

He shoved his holo into his pocket and raised a brow. “What? You look like you’re going to faint of fear. Is something wrong?”

She played with one dangling earring. “Maybe. I don’t know…”

“You don’t know?” Confusion flitted across his face. “What does that mean?”

“You lied to me,” she blurted out.

The color drained from his face. “I lied to you about what?”

“You said you were a nobody when we met. You told me you wanted a quiet life and that after your task on Earth was over, you were going to find a quiet place in the woods to have that life.” She bit her lip and held in the tears. “But you weren’t telling the truth. You knew how I felt about liars when you said it, and you still lied!”

“I… I may have left some things out,” he murmured. “But I wasn’t lying about what I wanted.”

“Then why are you here? I don’t get it! You grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth. The acclaimed half-breed child, the first half-human and half-alien that survived from a breeding between humans and your mother’s race. And you left it all to what?” She waved a hand at the room as a whole. “To do bounty hunting and then give tours to air-headed women and arrogant men who want to see all the galactic wonders?”

“I hated being there. Out here, I’m free to be me.” Thryen’s lips twisted into a bitter smile. “Out here, I don’t have people demanding that I be what I’m not just to suite their needs. I don’t have women of both races trying to trick me into marriage just in the hopes of having their own exotic baby.”

Her heart ached for him, but her rational mind only saw the lies. How could she excuse this? True, his secret wasn’t really bad or good. But it hurt that he hadn’t chosen to trust her during the entire time they were friends on Earth or even now, when she’d come under his protection and guidance for the duration of the tour. “And you didn’t think I’d get that?”

He sighed. “I wanted to leave it behind, Ora. I wanted you to see me for me and just enjoy our time together without thinking about everything back home. Is that so bad?”

She lowered her head with a half-hearted shrug. “I don’t know, Thyren. I really don’t. But I think I’d like to skip dinner. I’m not really hungry.”

“And the tour on Shyren?”

She shook her head. “I… I don’t want to go. I want you to leave me alone, please.”

“Ora…” He reached out and rested his hands on her shoulders.

She should shrug him off, but she didn’t have the energy.

“I know you’re mad. And I should’ve known you’d be upset if I didn’t tell you and you found out some other way. I’m sorry.” He pulled away and shuffled to the door. “If you change your mind about dinner, you know I’m just next door.”

She nodded but didn’t look up. The door banged closed, and she stood there, trying to understand everything that had just happened. Her heart hurt so badly that she wasn’t sure she could bear it another second, but since she couldn’t escape her own feelings, she just shambled to the bed and dropped onto it. Curling into a ball, she lay there and hoped sleep would put her out of her misery soon.

~~~

Thanks for reading, everyone! I hope you all enjoyed and are having a great end of your week so far! See you next week.

Thursday Technicalities – Formatting for Ebook

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This week, we’re taking a brief break from the discussion about weaving world-building into the story because I recently did a guest post on illustrator_aesthetics’ blog regarding formatting for ebooks. I thought you all might benefit from it, so that’s what this post is regarding. If you want to learn more about the cover design and graphics side of book design, go check out the illustrator_aesthetics’ blog here. Now, without further ado, let’s get into the guest post that I did on her blog!

INTRODUCTION

First of all, I want to thank Anne for inviting me to guest post on Illustrator Aesthetic’s blog. I’ve been asked to share a bit about ebook formatting. There’s quite a bit that goes into it, but let’s just get into it, and I’ll do my best to break it down a piece at a time.

KINDLE REQUIREMENTS

The first order of business is to understand what the requirements are for formatting in the first place. We’ll focus on Kindle’s requirements since it’s the most popular ebook option, but I’ll also go over some of the differences between Kindle’s Mobi files and Epub files for other platforms.

To begin with, Kindle only supports specific display fonts. It won’t display fancy font properly. I’ve been told that some programs can override that, but in my experience, nothing I’ve used has been able to, even if you embed fonts, which I’ll explain in a moment. So when you’re talking about formatting for an ebook, no fancy fonts. You need to use system-based fonts or else install the Kindle plugin for Word (if that’s the program you’re using) to give special effects to fonts. If you don’t use Word, there’s another way to do this, but when you’re doing your initial file formatting, don’t include any fancy fonts.

Second, no page numbers. This probably should be one of those obvious things, but Kindle won’t display page numbers because there’s not a lot of reason for it. The page numbers don’t correspond to the actual page number in the paperback, so just skip this. This also means you should skip page numbers in your table of contents.

Include a table of contents. This allows your Kindle book to give readers an option to navigate through the book conveniently. The table of contents needs to include the hyperlinks to each chapter header. If you’re using Word, you can easily make this work. Other programs will usually have different ways of achieving it, but since Word is what I use, that’s mainly what we’ll cover in this article.

Avoid drop caps and pictures. Kindle just does not like these. You can make it work, but it’s really difficult to get pictures in particular to do what they’re supposed to. Drop caps can be inserted using Amazon’s Kindle Create later on, but in your initial document, avoid them. It’s asking for Kindle to mess your entire manuscript up.

FORMATTING YOUR MANUSCRIPT

As I mentioned earlier, I use Microsoft Word, so we’ll mainly focus on that. I also use Scrivener as I’m writing, so I often end up exporting from that program to Word. Unfortunately, the Microsoft version of Scrivener doesn’t allow its users to edit as many settings in exporting as Mac’s version, so it makes it impossible to avoid having to do more formatting adjustments in another program anyway.

When it comes to Word, you’re given a really handy tool for quick formatting in the form of styles. You can create your own custom styles to make formatting easier, and then you can apply those custom styles to your manuscript’s paragraphs. In particular, using headings on the style menu allows you to quickly format your chapter headings so that they show up with the proper hyperlinks on your table of contents.

Beyond that, when you use styles, particularly ones you created, you’re able to make changes to the style itself and update all paragraphs with that style applied all at once. This becomes really handy when you’re dealing with over 300 pages of text. No one wants to spend eight hours going through and trying to catch every error in style.

I will note that using styles does sometimes mess up italics if you have entire sections in italics but don’t have a different style with the italics built in. So, you’ll want to double check your italics to be sure those weren’t changed. If they were, you can fix it, but you may have to mess around with it to make sure that only those sections are changed and not the rest of the paragraphs with that style.

Finally, note that you shouldn’t have any sort of section breaks in a document formatted for Kindle. Kindle and Epub files are meant to be formatted for streamlined reading experiences, so avoid any of those kinds of breaks. Page breaks are fine. Also avoid a bunch of extra blank lines that were put in with the enter key. Kindle typically removes them, so if you need extra space between the top of the page and the chapter header, say, you’ll need to use the “add space before” option to move it down the page.

ADDING EMBELLISHMENTS

When it comes to adding nicer fonts, images, or drop-caps, you can do it one of two ways using Word. Either you can install Kindle’s extension for Word and use that to make chapter headings, drop-caps, and images blend properly, or you can go ahead and use Amazon’s Kindle Create app to do it. Neither is better, per-se, but if you need more options to make last minute adjustments, I’d recommend the extension for Word. If you don’t, Kindle Create might be a little simpler to deal with. The nice thing about Kindle Create is that it makes it easy to save it in a package that can be uploaded straight to KDP and put into Mobi format without the hassle of trying to save pdfs or make things look just right from a document they didn’t convert well.

Make sure you preview the ebook before you hit publish or release for pre-order though. Even with the Kindle Create app, your file still might not convert quite right, so you want to make sure nothing looks off before you publish it.

EPUB VS. MOBI

Your Epub files are often a bit more flexible than Mobi. The formatting requirements are a tiny bit less stringent, and—in my experience—easier to work with when it comes to your drop caps or pictures. They still don’t really allow for a bunch of fancier fonts, but if you save it in either a pdf file or a Word document (which one you use depends on the publishing site), it usually converts a little bit easier than Kindle’s does. Generally, I’ve used epub files for Barnes and Noble’s Nook or for Kobo’s ebook platform.

CLOSING REMARKS

Formatting your manuscript for Kindle or Epub isn’t always simple. Even when you’ve done your best to keep things simple and streamlined, things can still go wrong. You’re probably going to have to adjust things or tweak stuff here and there to make it work just right. But using the tips above can make that job easier, especially if you use Word to format. From personal experience, I know exactly what it’s like to want to tear your hair out because Word’s formatting doesn’t want to mesh well with Kindle or Epub. The tips above help to fix some of those issues.

That’s it for this week’s Thursday Technicalities post. I hope it’s been helpful for you guys, particularly for those who have experienced the nightmares of trying to format for ebooks using Word! At some point, I’ll talk a bit about paperback formatting too because that’s a whole other ball game. But for now, we’ll leave it at this!

Work-In-Progress Wednesdays #39

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So those of you who follow me on social media know that I’ve been talking about my newest WIP a bit more now that it’s in full swing. I’m really excited about it! So, if you didn’t hear about it on social media, I’ll explain here.

The piece I’m working on for ONC (Wattpad’s Open Novella Contest) is the most sci-fi style piece I’ve done. It’s also the most unique in terms of its magic system and world. I did a live video on Facebook about the book’s behind-the-scenes last week on Thursday, and you guys can watch it here if you didn’t see it live.

At any rate, since it’s the only longer piece I’m working on right now (and will be until I finish and edit it before the end of April–I think that’s the length of the contest?), that’s what I’ll be sharing from for today!

~~~

SEBASTIAN STEPPED OFF the lift with a weary groan. The faces around him all held placid smiles, perfect images of the poise and tolerance society loved so much these days. Not that he had anything against it, per se, but the lengths some people went to… Well, there just ought to be a limit. He glanced at his watch. Ten minutes to make it to his mother’s. Ten minutes for something to go abominably wrong, knowing his luck. But, if he just avoided any situations that might require the use of his button, all would be well. As long as the button didn’t have to get involved, life was generally not too bad. Good, even, on occasion.

He shoved through the crowd, ignoring the sidelong glances people gave him. Seriously, didn’t any of them have more productive things to do besides standing in the way and glaring at anyone who wasn’t equally keen on that? Union workers. He shook his head with a snort and rushed out the door onto the bustling city streets of Winchester. Nine minutes now. Good thing McGayen Inc was located on the city outskirts. If he ran, he could make it to the family estate, maybe even on time for once.

“Seb?”

He sighed and turned back toward the building’s entrance. Scratch that. He’d be late, and this time he couldn’t blame it on a mishap with the button. Well, Mother liked Viv, so it would be forgiven if he was late.

“Good thing I caught you. Where are you going? Weren’t you going to leave work with me to meet Dane at the station?”

He frowned. Was he?

“Did you forget already?”

“Uh… No, no. Not exactly.” He wracked his brain and came up blank. “Okay… I guess I did.” He rubbed the back of his neck, careful to avoid the cold metal lump under his ear where his button resided.

She snorted and put her hands on her hips, an oddly petulant stance for Vivian McGayen, an accomplished business woman whose own reputation was only exceeded by her father’s. “You’re always forgetting things. Drinks after work. You promised, remember? We were going to head over to Featherweight, that new bar in town. The one with the specialty drinks?”

Oh, right. How had he managed to forget? Would his mother mind two extra people for dinner? He couldn’t cancel on either of them, so he’d have to find a solution. Fortunately, Mother would probably be thrilled to make room for Dane and Viv. She always cooked too much anyway. Just in case, she said. “Well, I guess we can still do it. But my mother scheduled dinner for tonight, and I can’t bail on her. Not after what happened with Dad last month, you know?”

Viv nodded and pursed her lips. “We could move the night out to tomorrow if you wanted.”

“No, no. We’ve already done the planning. Not your fault I forgot. How about we head out after dinner at my mother’s? You two are welcome to join. It’d save me the chewing out for being late. Again.”

Viv laughed and played with an auburn curl. “Wouldn’t that be intruding, Seb? I don’t want to get in the way or stress your mother out. She’s got enough on her plate with your Dad running off like he did.”

“It wouldn’t be intruding. Having you there might actually cheer her up.”

“Then tell you what.” Viv smoothed her hands over her pencil skirt. “I’ll give Dane a call and tell him to meet us over there. Then we can just go together. It’ll be quicker than walking if I take you.”

He glanced at her button, easily visible just under her left ear. Easier, yes. But also so very humiliating. She had a working button that was useful, but he was stuck with the dud because some idiot bureaucrat screwed up his paperwork and someone else installed a reject instead of the real deal. Maybe he should be glad his worked at all, since it wasn’t supposed to, but considering the fact that using it only worked out maybe once in a hundred presses, he didn’t feel too bad about his irritation. And every time someone used theirs with no mishap, that irritation grew until he wanted to punch something or slink off into a hole to die of shame. At least no one pointed and laughed anymore. Openly, at least. “I can walk.”

She rolled her eyes. “Seb, grow up, would you? Accepting my offer to teleport both of us doesn’t make you a lesser man.”

“That’s not the problem.”

“Then what is? If your button has the better transportation method, we can use that.”

“That’s a low blow, Viv.” He turned his back on her. “You know it doesn’t. It doesn’t do anything right, and you know how I feel about others using their buttons out of pity for me. I’ll walk.”

She grabbed his arm and dragged him off to the side. People stared, but a short glare from him sent them scurrying, appalled and judgmental stares marring their lukewarm smiles. So much for tolerance of whatever anyone else did. Clearly, the motto “You do you” only applied when they were the ones being judged. Not a surprise. He’d seen it growing up, and it was no better now.

Viv squeezed his shoulders and brought his attention back to her. “The button—”

“Doesn’t define me?” He sighed and shrugged her off. “I know that. Never said it did. But it would be nice if I knew what I’d get when I pressed it. It would be nice if, for once, I had somewhere to fit in instead of being the freak show at every gathering.”

Viv grinned. “You know what you’ll get.”

Despite his restless, irritable mood, he smiled at that too. “Yeah, guess so. But knowing it’ll be random every time isn’t exactly the same as knowing what I’ll get.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and resumed his fast pace with a glance at his watch. Three minutes. Great. “Call your brother while you walk, then. Showing up with you only gains me five extra minutes to get there.”

“More like seven. Your mother adores me for some reason.” She pulled her phone out of her purse. “But you wouldn’t be late if—”

He raised a brow at her. “We discussed my feelings on charity.”

“More like you talked and I pretended to listen.”

He put a hand over his heart with an exaggerated wince. “That hurts my feelings.”

“Too bad.”

“How intolerant of you.” He wrinkled his nose. “I can’t believe you would be so inconsiderate of my feelings and my opinion.”

She threw her head back and laughed her rich, throaty laugh. Been a while since he’d heard it. It brought a warm feeling inside that partially chased off the bad feelings. This time, she didn’t even grace him with a response to his inanity. Both of them had a healthy respect for one another’s views on society’s belief in tolerance and social relevance. Neither of them really liked the way things were headed there, and that drew them together.

“Well, typical of you. You going to keep making fun of me? I’m still going to walk, so you can either join or go on ahead.”

“And tell your mother what?” She scoffed. “Your son invited me over, but he’s ten minutes away because he couldn’t get over his pride long enough to join me?”

“If you want.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and held back a laugh. “I don’t care what you tell her. You’ll come up with something, and I’ll see you in five minutes.”

“Suit yourself, then. I’ll try to spare you her wrath.” She gave him a saucy grin and wiggled her fingers in farewell before she disappeared, leaving him alone among the crowds on the sidewalk.

~~~

Hope you all enjoyed the opening scene of the book! This is in the raw since I haven’t done extensive editing on it yet, but I don’t expect the beginning to change too much unless I run into major issues with it later on.

Author’s Interview with James Quinlan Meservy

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Today, I have James Quinlan Meservy with me on the blog to answer some questions about himself, his writing, and his inspirations! For those who don’t know, Meservy is the author of the Rai Saga, the first of which is the book The United. I reviewed that on the blog recently, so you can find that here. Let’s see what he has to say.

Tell us a little bit about yourself.

Mornin!

I am James Quinlan Meservy, Fantasy Author Extraordinaire, Creator of Creatures, Embellisher of Events, and Firebrand “Stories That Kindle Imagination.”

I am originally from Logan, Ut, USA. Shortly after I graduated from High School I lived two years in the Far East region of the Russian Federation, serving a mission for my church. My time in Russia and my knowledge of the Russian language greatly influence my writings, especially when I am creating names for characters, events, locations, etc. For instance, Rai is Paradise in Russian

What kind of fantasy do you write, and what got you into it?

I write epic fantasy and YA fantasy with my Rai Saga, children’s fantasy with my Sykar Series, and urban fantasy with my self-published short story, Jackalopes: The Real Story.

I have always enjoyed the fantasy genre, and when the original idea for The United came to me as a young child, it happened to story about a talking wolf who gained immortality by devouring souls. Now, that was a long time ago, and the story has adapted into its current novelized form, but once I started writing the story, I fell in love with the genre.

As for the Sykar Series, I wrote that so I could share one of my published stories with my children. And it is a favorite of theirs.

What genres do you read, and do you write the same ones?

I will read any author once. If I like what I read, I may read another title, or I may not. But most of my reads tend to be Charles Dickens, Mark Twain, Classic Literature (yes, in my world Charles Dickens and Mark Twain both constitute their own genres) Fantasy, and since I have two or three science fiction WIPs in mind, I am starting to read more sci-fi.

What are some of the things you like to do to relax?

To relax? Well, if you ask my wife and kids, I don’t relax. I am always reading, writing, exercising, eating (brownies and Cherry Pepsi will eventually be the death of me), or spending time with my family. So, for relaxation, I guess I mostly play silly match 3 games on my phone and watch movies.

Can you tell us about your current work-in-progress?

Which one? At present I have 4 WIPs. Perfectly Evil, the Realm of the Light Book 3, Shades of Mortality, the Realm of the Light Book 4, UNTITLED, the Realm of the Light Book 5, and a science fiction project I am co-authoring with a friend.

Let’s start with Perfectly Evil. That is a great story, beginning with Vulktyramous waking up in the Coliseum in Rome after losing the Second Great Denizen War to his brother, Arctyrus Hunter. I don’t want to spoil too much of the story, but Perfectly Evil is really about how Vulktyramous went from a pawn in everyone else’s game to becoming a force to be reckoned with on his own.

Shades of Mortality is probably the most anticipated WIP on my docket, for it is the immediate sequel to The United, and chronicles the life of HeatherAnn Parkinson. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I will say this book shows HeatherAnn coming to terms with herself, accepting herself for who she is, and trying to find her place in the world.

If you’ve published (self-published or traditionally published), can you tell us a little about the experience?

I am hybrid published. The Realm of the Light Series is published by Cosby Media Productions, and I have a number of self published short stories.

About the experience? Editing manuscripts is always fun for me, because I get to see ideas become novels, and then enjoy learning how to improve my stories and preparing them for publication, and I am constantly learning how to write better.

What were your inspirations for writing?

In 5^th grade, I was given a Halloween themed creative writing assignment. I thought about what I wanted to write about, then I had a dream about a wolf who obtained immortality through stealing souls. And to be honest, my dreams have been my inspiration for stories ever since.

Who got you into writing when you first started?

That would be my 5^th grade teacher, Mrs. Card. Then as I grew up, I went through a prolonged I will write, I will never write again stage that lasted about 20 years, before I finally gave in to the dreams and ideas and thoughts that would not leave me alone. So as a kid, it was my teacher, as an adult, it was inspirations and myself.

Was there anyone who came alongside you at any point when you were struggling in your writing journey and made a real difference? If so, who and why?

When I first self-published The United, it was poorly edited, had a bad cover, and not all that great. And I knew it. But, I received a message from Cris Pasqueralle, asking if I was interested in doing a review swap. I agreed. Since then, he has been my mentor and good friend.

When I landed a publisher with Tate Publishing, Cris helped me promote my book. Then when Tate went out of business, he referred to Cosby Media Productions. Cris has always been ready with words of encouragement, advice, and support whenever I needed it.

What advice would you give to aspiring authors and writers just starting on the writing journey?

Read. Read everything, and anything. Do not just read your genre, by everything I mean everything. Read some how to write books, read some fantasy, read some scifi, read some classic literature, some thrillers, anything you can get your hands on. And as you read, pay attention to how the author writes. Learn from their successes and failings, and adapt writing methods and styles you like to your own work.

Second to that is write. Ideas are great, but I cannot read the ideas in your mind on my Kindle.

What is one thing you wish someone had told you before you started writing?

To read. I was not a reader as a child. I did not really enjoy reading until I read A Christmas Carol in a high school class as a senior. So the first thing I did when I decided to take my story and turn it into a novel was write it out. It was horrible and dragging, and boring, and predictable, and I had no idea how to write a fantasy novel. So I read a lot of fantasy, some how to write books, some classics, and some books of different genres just so I could see how different authors write narrative prose.

What’s your favorite book, and who’s your favorite literary character? Why?

My favorite author is Charles Dickens, and my favorite book is A Christmas Carol. As I mentioned above, it was the title, and he was the author, that really got me into reading. Now that I think about it, I think that part of the reason for my love of A Christmas Carol is because it was the first book I ever read that inspired me to change to become a better person.

As far as favorite literary character, I have more than just 1.

Eponine from Les Miserables. I love her so much. She is one of my greatest literary crushes, and I love her story. No matter how bad her life became after her father lost his inn, she never lost hope, and she did not allow her experiences to harden her heart.

The Bishop from Les Miserables. Words cannot express how much his example of Christ-like love means to me. The way he gave away everything he owned to those who were in greater need is nothing short of inspiring.

Renee, aka Captain Espan Rose aka Captain Varda from the Sovereign of the Seas series by KR Martin. I love Renee. She is my third literary crush. I love her determination, her devotion to both her cause and her family, and her drive to never give up.

The United by James Quinlan Meservy – A Large Cast

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Introduction

Hey, everyone! I’m here with a new book review for you all! Today’s is for The United by James Quinlan Meservy. He graciously provided me with a review copy when I mentioned I would be interested in having more reviews of different authors’ books on my blog. After he got in touch, we agreed that I would review his, and he was kind enough to provide a review copy so I didn’t have to purchase my own copy. I’m really excited to share this book with you guys, so let’s take a look! As always, the reader’s review is first followed by my review for writers. Don’t read that second review if you don’t want any spoilers provided for you.

rEADER’S rEVIEW

So, just being honest here… The beginning half was a bit hard for me. I don’t know for sure why because I did like the characters and the overall idea of the story–as I understood it–but I just struggled to wrap my head around what was going on. My main issue, I think, was the jumps that happened between the Realm of Light (Earth) and the Realm of Rai (which seems to represent Heaven or something of that nature). It was just difficult for me to make the jump between the characters in one place and the characters in another, and the fact that the Creatures of Rai could be in both realms was initially something that had me really confused.

However, once I got into it, I found that I did enjoy the book. The characters were written very well, and the way Meservy approached things was realistic and sensitive (when the issues being discussed called for it). The story itself was also a riveting plot line. I was intrigued by the legends and lore that was woven throughout the novel, and I think that was done pretty well. The incorporation didn’t feel heavy-handed or odd to me at all.

Sometimes, the fight scenes were a tiny bit difficult to follow though. Mainly because mind-control is a factor in a few (or I suppose mind-control in the form of causing someone to hallucinate and do things they wouldn’t ever do, like killing friends and family). Sorry for the slight spoiler there, guys! But basically, when characters end up under that mind-control, they no longer keep their own names or think of themselves with that name. They get this superhero pseudonym thing, so it’s a little hard sometimes to figure out who’s who in the hallucinations while they’re under the influence of the mind-controller. I didn’t like that too much because it just left me so mixed up and mentally fogged until the scene went back to normal. Still, it’s a relatively minor thing in the scheme of the entire story, especially considering the fact that the plot line was neat and the different mechanisms used in combat and in preparation for it were quite unique.

In the end, I would recommend it. It’s got a lot of clear references to Christianity and, I feel, presents things from a strongly Christian point-of-view without glossing over the fact that people make mistakes and lead lives that can have choices and events they end up regretting after coming to Christ (or even things they regret doing as a Christian). Because the book doesn’t shy away from openness about the fact that even Christian couples make mistakes and sin in the area of premarital sex, I wouldn’t say the book is one ultra-conservative Christians would label clean. Personally, I think that removing it would leave the book unrealistic and lacking, given the story James weaves. But, if you don’t want even the mention of sex included in your novels or in what your child reads, don’t pick this up. There aren’t any actual sex scenes or anything, but the characters are clear that they’ve had premarital sex and regretted it. So, yeah… If you’re not okay with that being brought up, The United might not be for you. Otherwise, it’s a good read.

Writer’s Review

Okay, now for the fun stuff! Picking apart The United to go over what was done well and what wasn’t. First, as the title hints, we’re going to talk about the large cast of characters that Meservy had, why it worked, and what he did well with it. The second thing we’re going to talk about is handling books where you have things going on in two different realms or worlds parallel to one another. This can get confusing for readers, and it did in Meservy’s book, so we’ll go over why it was so confusing and what you can do in order to alleviate some confusion for readers.

First, let’s go with the good things Meservy did with his large cast! To begin with, lots and lots of people died in The United. Straight up, lots of people end up getting killed when facing off with Lord Yrimwaque, and without his large posse of characters to continue on the story after two or three died, Meservy wouldn’t have had much of a story left. The villain would have won, and that would have been that.

However, because he had a group of friends plus several Creatures of Rai to play major roles in the story, you never ran out of characters. Granted, this could become overwhelming for the reader easily, but in Meservy’s case, it didn’t because so many of them died. In the first battle, they lost one out of the three who were involved (and the rest barely escaped). In the second battle, they lost another two, if I counted right. By the third battle, they lost two more, leaving Blaze, one of the main characters, as the only one really left who played a major role in trying to kill the villain. The Creatures of Rai all survived since all of them were dead to begin with and just passed from the Realm of Rai (Heaven) to the Realm of Light (Earth) either through evil means or by order of their Master (God/Christ).

Interestingly enough, Meservy never actually got rid of the characters he killed off. Instead, they become permanent residents of the Realm of Rai as Creatures of Rai, and they helped to offer guidance and protection to their friends who were still fighting back on the Realm of Light. This was achieved through dreams, which those of the Realm of Light wouldn’t fully remember but still found would guide them later on as premonitions of sorts, or through direct interactions between the Creatures of Rai and the inhabitants of the Realm of Light. In a way, it seems as if those who died became like guardian angels.

This, obviously, is a bit of a departure from Biblical narratives on what happens to mortals when they die, but given the fact that there’s a lot in the story that’s meant to be allegorical or is just creative license, I wouldn’t fault Meservy on it. It was an integral part to the story and not something I found to be particularly objectionable. You may not want to keep your cast of characters the same size using this method, but note that it is an option if you want to keep people around even though they’ve died. Ghosts are a common theme in a lot of paranormal fantasy, so it’s a viable option for you, though obviously your spin on it won’t be the same as Meservy’s has been.

Now, about what I felt wasn’t done well. I mentioned in my reader’s review that I found the start to be difficult to follow. It was confusing and jarring to jump from one world to the other with everything going on at the same time or at different times but with no clear markers on which was which.

This is something I’m fairly sure Meservy addresses later on in his writing since his short story for the anthology I’m organizing is in this same world and has clear headers to let us know as readers which realm we’re on and who it is that’s the viewpoint character. I found this to be a much more effective method of switching between realms because without those markers, it becomes very jumbled. This is, of course, one way of handling a similar situation in your own novels to avoid confusing readers or jarring them out of the story.

Beyond that, Meservy had a third realm, of sorts, and that was the realm of the mind. In this realm, the character only enters it when under the control of Lord Yrimwaque and the Threat, at least in The United. Once they’re in this realm, the characters cease to view themselves as themselves. They take on names like the Avenger, Traveler, Friend, and more. While in this state, they’re approached by someone from the Threat who masquerades as someone they want to follow, and, under mind control in the hallucination/mental realm, they do follow instructions. This leads to actions in the real world that frequently end with friends killing each other or one friend attacking and killing other friends. They can be snapped out of this realm when sprayed with water (for whatever reason this is the only method that works), but it’s usually too late to save anyone.

This mental realm was also confusing because the lack of names made it hard to follow who was who. So, while, eventually, I was able to figure out what was going on, I was never certain which character was the one being controlled until the mind control was removed and we were left with a fresh body count. This was pretty frustrating. If you have something similar, I recommend that you show them initially fighting it or slowly succumbing to it as their mind fades into the scene and they begin to think of themselves as this other character. That way, even if we don’t know for sure who they attack or what they do to those around them, we do know for certain which character we’re following. This just helps to ground the reader as they read through what might otherwise end up seeming confusing or disjointed/divorced from the reality built up in the rest of the book.

Conclusion

Despite the confusion at points in the book, I did find the storyline to be one I could follow and enjoy. I would recommend the book even if it wasn’t always the easiest to understand at times. The confusion wasn’t bad enough to make the book a no-go for me. It was more a minor frustration and distraction when it showed up and not even a problem the rest of the time. I loved the characters, and it made me sad any time someone died because even though I knew they weren’t gone forever, I saw the impact on those left behind, and it hurt for that reason. That means Meservy did quite a few things right, so I’d definitely say this book is one I can recommend without too much reserve.

You can buy the book through Amazon, and you can get in touch with James Quinlan Meservy through his website or his newsletter signup. I will be doing an author’s interview with Meservy to go along with this post, so once he has finished the questions, I’ll put that up!

Be on the look out for that and for my review of TN Traynor’s historical romance set in Scotland, which will be posted on March 7th. I know it isn’t the genre I usually review on the blog, but she and I are doing spotlights as part of my blog tour for On Twilight’s Wings, and because I know her work, I said I’d spotlight the book even though I normally wouldn’t do that for non-fantasy on the blog. I’ve already started reading the copy she sent me, and I’m really enjoying it so far! It’s better polished than Idi & the Oracle’s Quest was too, so I’ve been having an easier time reading it. There won’t be a writer’s review because it isn’t what I normally talk about on the blog, but I’ll have a review from my perspective as a reader along with a blurb, book links, and the cover. So for all of you who read romance too, you can look forward to that special feature come March 7th!