This week’s flash fiction is about Ansiel again! Hope you guys enjoy! If you haven’t read the last post on Ansiel, you can go read it here.
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Ansiel stared as she spun away from him into the arms of another man. He barely caught his newest partner in time. She batted pale lashes at him, her pastel pink gaze darkening with interest. He kept his attention firmly fixed on her. On Queen Saeread. She was the only reason he was here in England at all. But he could only curse the purpose that tied him to her now. That purpose was the reason she was untouchable.
He left his partner dancing with another man and wove through the crowd, left the party to find some place of peace and quiet. The festive air everyone else possessed weighed him down, made his heart freeze and his lung seize. He should be happy right now. Should be glad for the reprieve from court back in Ireland. But he couldn’t find a single spark of thankfulness inside his sinking heart.
Hurrying out onto a balcony that was sheltered by an overhang and the wall, he found his sanctuary. Out in the darkness, listening to the pounding of the rain on the cobblestone below, he tried to regain control. She wasn’t his. She never would be.
A soft footfall sounded behind him. He didn’t turn around. Didn’t need to when he already knew who it was. “Queen Saeread. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
She came to stand beside him at the rail, stood in the shadows and let the wall block her from view of those in the party. “Do I need an excuse to see you, Ansiel?”
He winced. No, of course not. But he needed a good excuse to stay. Temptation flared. He could excuse it because his King should be wedding his mate, not some random Fae Queen from London. He could excuse it because he knew the pain his sister would endure if this woman was wed to his King. But he also knew the price for betrayal was high, and he couldn’t bear to start a war that would most definitely involve his sister. So, he remained silent.
“Why don’t you speak?” Saeread’s arm brushed against his. “I hadn’t thought I’d done anything to make you angry.”
He shook his head and glanced over to find her watching him with a pout. “Nothing at all, my lady.”
She sighed. “Do you hate me?”
He tensed. Of course not. “Why would you ask that?”
“You tease me more often than not. And you look at me with something burning so hot in your gaze that I assumed you must. Besides, you spend more time running from me lately than you would if you liked me. Is my company that wretched?”
He couldn’t bear this. Groaning, he turned to face her. “Do you know what it feels like to feel as if, with every step forward you take, you might be taking your last? To feel as if you walk on a razor’s edge?”
A dainty frown creased her brow. “I–“
“No, I’m not done.” He pressed closer, didn’t care that he shouldn’t. “Do you know what it’s like to have a weight sitting on your chest every day? To be torn between two decisions? To feel as if you are sinking down, down, down until you don’t know which way is up? Until you feel like you can’t hold your breath any longer?”
She sucked in a breath, her pretty eyes brimming with tears.
“You don’t. You don’t know what it’s like to see what you want right before your eyes and to know that it’s yours but be unable to take it. You don’t know what it’s like to feel as though you’re sinking deeper into the bottomless sea of despair each day with no chance of rescue.” He shoved past her and paused in the doorway. “And until you do, Saeread, you can’t understand why I look at you the way I do.”
She sucked in another gasping breath, as if he’d wounded her to the core. But he didn’t wait to hear her response. He just fled. Fled from her, the party, himself, everything. It was all that was left to him now, after all. If he couldn’t have the one woman who should be his, then what was left for him, anyway?
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That’s it for this week, everyone! I hope you all enjoyed. Have a great weekend!