Introduction

This week, we’re going to switch gears and talk about something that’s often discussed in the writing world. Show versus tell. Three words that both confuse and terrify lots of beginning writers. After all, it seems that everyone has a different idea of what exactly this means and how to go about achieving this. Not only that, some people say to eliminate all telling while others say some is okay. How do you know what’s right for your work and what the balance looks like? Well, there’s not necessarily a set of hard and fast rules. But before you panic about that, let’s take a look at what can be said about showing versus telling and some of the ways you can utilize it regardless of what you’re writing. We’ll also take a look at some instances where telling is okay. This will be a longer post because I’m going to give examples to make sure that everything is as clear as I can make it.

What Does Show vs. Tell Mean?

Simply put, when you show, you are describing. You’re giving the reader a picture instead of dictating to him what he must, necessarily, see. This probably doesn’t make much sense immediately, and if it doesn’t, I don’t blame you. Those who have been writing for a long time probably know what I mean and have fought the battle of editing for those pesky lines where they didn’t manage to achieve it. That’s just part of the writer’s life. But for those of you who are just starting out or who don’t know much about the technical side of writing, you’re justifiably confused.

So, let’s see if we can’t make this clear with an illustration.

This is telling:

Kendall was nervous.

All you have done here as the author is to state a fact. We now know Kendall is nervous, but this doesn’t necessarily paint a specific image. We can’t determine what Kendall is doing, how the viewpoint character (or narrator) might know such a thing, or why we should believe this to be fact. Aside from the fact that the narrator has stated it, we don’t have any solid footing here.

Compare the example above to this:

Kendall crossed her arms and gripped her upper arms tightly. With each passing moment, her grip tightened. She kept glancing at the clock on the wall, and Darren looked too. Why wouldn’t she stop staring at it? Was his company that disconcerting? She stopped looking at the clock and lifted a hand to toy with the blue pendant dangling at her throat. He cleared his throat to ask her to quit fidgeting, and Kendall jumped, leaning away for a moment before taking a step back with a shaky laugh and a darting glance at him. Did she think he hadn’t noticed her reaction to him? He just wished he understood why she was acting this way.

Okay, so we don’t necessarily know why Kendall is nervous here, but we do know it has something to do with Darren’s presence, and we also know for a fact that she is nervous. But Darren never states it. Instead, he notices the strange behavior she’s displaying, all of which points to her nervousness. 

One other important thing is different between these two samples. I’m sure you noticed that there’s a huge difference in length. Generally speaking, when you tell, your word count will be lower than if you had shown the same thing. Now, it may not be as drastic as what I have here. If Darren were a less observant person, he might only notice how she leans away from him or the darting of her gaze to the clock. He might only see one or two key behaviors that make him think, Wow, Kendall’s really nervous today. 

But we all pick up on clues from the people around us that tell us about what they’re feeling, especially in relation to us or to the other individuals around them. We may not consciously understand what we’re seeing, but we understand subconsciously. 

So, in this particular instance, you can use that to your advantage to show instead of tell. If this were to have been in Kendall’s point-of-view, things would be changed around a bit to leave out Darren’s speculations/questions and insert her own regarding Darren. But you would still show some of the same actions.

Hopefully, you get the idea regarding showing versus telling. You don’t want to overwrite, however. (For example, the passage above would be overwritten unless the character is of the Sherlock Holmes level of observational skill. But this was done intentionally to highlight the difference between the two methods.) Usually, showing is a matter of slipping the description in with a few lines here and there. Let’s go ahead and move on to talking about that next!

How to Show

As mentioned earlier, you don’t want to overwrite when you show. The passage I gave you earlier is definitely overwritten. Part of the problem, of course, is that it’s just straight text. There would, in a real situation, be some dialogue between these two. So let’s look at how I would write a short clip from a scene involving these two and the concept that Kendall is nervous.

Kendall crossed and uncrossed her arms for the fifth time in ten minutes. Her gaze flicked to the clock then back to the floor in front of her beanbag chair. Darren sighed. “Are you even listening to me?”

She stiffened and nodded vigorously.

He frowned and crossed his arms. “I don’t think you are.”Her eyes shifted up to his face and then away again. “I am.”

“Do you know why I’m upset?”She sneaked another peek at the clock behind him. “Have somewhere to be?”

Another shake of her head. She quit looking at the clock and moved to playing with the necklace he’d given her last year on her eighteenth birthday. Now he knew something was up.

A heavy silence fell over them. She shifted in her seat, and he just watched her fidget. Did she think he didn’t notice her reaction to him? Finally, he cleared his throat. “Seriously, don’t you understand why I’d be upset over your behavior?”

She started, her gaze flying to his face, and then she leaned back with a shaky laugh. “I’m sorry for…for showing up late for the party.”

Again, this is longer than it would be if you just used dialogue tags and told us what everyone in the scene felt. But this time, dialogue splits it up and balances out the showing you’re doing. I also removed some of the less necessary details while keeping key details such as fidgeting, playing with her necklace, shaky laughter, darting glances, and crossed arms. These all give off the impression of nervousness and a closed or wary mentality, at least for this current scene.

What if You Aren’t Showing A Person’s Emotional State?

I’m sure the question has now come to mind… What if I need to use showing for something that doesn’t involve a person’s emotional or physical state? Descriptive writing, thankfully, extends into the realm of dealing with the physical objects and settings around us as well. Let’s take a look at another show vs. tell example.

Telling:

The knife was shiny. (Notice that many times forms of the verb “was” show up in telling sentences.)

Showing:

Light glinted off the razor edge of the dagger. (Again, this is longer than the previous version, but notice that this time around, I went straight to writing something that would fit well in a scene. It isn’t overwritten, and it uses vivid verbs to get the idea across.)

You can use this concept to great effect in your writing. By making sure that most of your sentences show instead of tell, your writing will become more descriptive and more engaging. Readers will get a better picture in their minds of what you’re trying to show them in your story, and you’ll get more positive responses to your work.

A Note on When to Use Telling Instead

Sometimes, there is a good call for telling instead of showing. You don’t always have to show every detail. For example, it’s permissible to simply tell us the sky is red. If showing would lead to overwriting or a weakening of the flow, don’t do it. We want good, strong writing, not purple prose that no one wants to read. 

Another reason, in brief, for using telling is that a viewpoint character might not notice all the signs that would indicate a state of mind or emotion in another person. For instance, perhaps Darren from our prior example isn’t good with body language. Maybe he doesn’t notice anything except the way Kendall keeps looking at the clock. That doesn’t tell us she’s nervous, and maybe he doesn’t equate the other actions to anything strange because he just doesn’t notice. If that’s the case, he might not know why she strikes him as nervous. In this situation, you might have to proceed by making a statement like this: Darren couldn’t quite put his finger on why, but something about Kendall screamed nervous. 

If you have to use this technique, do your best to stay in deep POV. (If you haven’t yet, read that article here.) Notice that in the example above, I said “screamed nervous”. Phrases like these can lend to the telling sentence the voice of the viewpoint character and make it seem more like something the character might say if they were, indeed, unsure of why they thought what they did. This is a useful technique to avoid pulling readers out of the present, here-and-now with the character if you have to tell instead of show.

Conclusion

I hope this has helped to clear any uncertainty or confusion for you on the topic of show vs. tell. This is a tough topic, and there’s a lot that could be said about it. I covered the main points for those who don’t know anything about it or who struggle in this area. 

Do you have more tips on how to show instead of tell? If so, feel free to leave them in the comments below! Other writers’ perspectives can often add further levels of understanding and additional insight for beginners, so please pitch in if you have tips!