Introduction

Hey, everyone! I’m here with a new book review for you all! Today’s is for The United by James Quinlan Meservy. He graciously provided me with a review copy when I mentioned I would be interested in having more reviews of different authors’ books on my blog. After he got in touch, we agreed that I would review his, and he was kind enough to provide a review copy so I didn’t have to purchase my own copy. I’m really excited to share this book with you guys, so let’s take a look! As always, the reader’s review is first followed by my review for writers. Don’t read that second review if you don’t want any spoilers provided for you.

rEADER’S rEVIEW

So, just being honest here… The beginning half was a bit hard for me. I don’t know for sure why because I did like the characters and the overall idea of the story–as I understood it–but I just struggled to wrap my head around what was going on. My main issue, I think, was the jumps that happened between the Realm of Light (Earth) and the Realm of Rai (which seems to represent Heaven or something of that nature). It was just difficult for me to make the jump between the characters in one place and the characters in another, and the fact that the Creatures of Rai could be in both realms was initially something that had me really confused.

However, once I got into it, I found that I did enjoy the book. The characters were written very well, and the way Meservy approached things was realistic and sensitive (when the issues being discussed called for it). The story itself was also a riveting plot line. I was intrigued by the legends and lore that was woven throughout the novel, and I think that was done pretty well. The incorporation didn’t feel heavy-handed or odd to me at all.

Sometimes, the fight scenes were a tiny bit difficult to follow though. Mainly because mind-control is a factor in a few (or I suppose mind-control in the form of causing someone to hallucinate and do things they wouldn’t ever do, like killing friends and family). Sorry for the slight spoiler there, guys! But basically, when characters end up under that mind-control, they no longer keep their own names or think of themselves with that name. They get this superhero pseudonym thing, so it’s a little hard sometimes to figure out who’s who in the hallucinations while they’re under the influence of the mind-controller. I didn’t like that too much because it just left me so mixed up and mentally fogged until the scene went back to normal. Still, it’s a relatively minor thing in the scheme of the entire story, especially considering the fact that the plot line was neat and the different mechanisms used in combat and in preparation for it were quite unique.

In the end, I would recommend it. It’s got a lot of clear references to Christianity and, I feel, presents things from a strongly Christian point-of-view without glossing over the fact that people make mistakes and lead lives that can have choices and events they end up regretting after coming to Christ (or even things they regret doing as a Christian). Because the book doesn’t shy away from openness about the fact that even Christian couples make mistakes and sin in the area of premarital sex, I wouldn’t say the book is one ultra-conservative Christians would label clean. Personally, I think that removing it would leave the book unrealistic and lacking, given the story James weaves. But, if you don’t want even the mention of sex included in your novels or in what your child reads, don’t pick this up. There aren’t any actual sex scenes or anything, but the characters are clear that they’ve had premarital sex and regretted it. So, yeah… If you’re not okay with that being brought up, The United might not be for you. Otherwise, it’s a good read.

Writer’s Review

Okay, now for the fun stuff! Picking apart The United to go over what was done well and what wasn’t. First, as the title hints, we’re going to talk about the large cast of characters that Meservy had, why it worked, and what he did well with it. The second thing we’re going to talk about is handling books where you have things going on in two different realms or worlds parallel to one another. This can get confusing for readers, and it did in Meservy’s book, so we’ll go over why it was so confusing and what you can do in order to alleviate some confusion for readers.

First, let’s go with the good things Meservy did with his large cast! To begin with, lots and lots of people died in The United. Straight up, lots of people end up getting killed when facing off with Lord Yrimwaque, and without his large posse of characters to continue on the story after two or three died, Meservy wouldn’t have had much of a story left. The villain would have won, and that would have been that.

However, because he had a group of friends plus several Creatures of Rai to play major roles in the story, you never ran out of characters. Granted, this could become overwhelming for the reader easily, but in Meservy’s case, it didn’t because so many of them died. In the first battle, they lost one out of the three who were involved (and the rest barely escaped). In the second battle, they lost another two, if I counted right. By the third battle, they lost two more, leaving Blaze, one of the main characters, as the only one really left who played a major role in trying to kill the villain. The Creatures of Rai all survived since all of them were dead to begin with and just passed from the Realm of Rai (Heaven) to the Realm of Light (Earth) either through evil means or by order of their Master (God/Christ).

Interestingly enough, Meservy never actually got rid of the characters he killed off. Instead, they become permanent residents of the Realm of Rai as Creatures of Rai, and they helped to offer guidance and protection to their friends who were still fighting back on the Realm of Light. This was achieved through dreams, which those of the Realm of Light wouldn’t fully remember but still found would guide them later on as premonitions of sorts, or through direct interactions between the Creatures of Rai and the inhabitants of the Realm of Light. In a way, it seems as if those who died became like guardian angels.

This, obviously, is a bit of a departure from Biblical narratives on what happens to mortals when they die, but given the fact that there’s a lot in the story that’s meant to be allegorical or is just creative license, I wouldn’t fault Meservy on it. It was an integral part to the story and not something I found to be particularly objectionable. You may not want to keep your cast of characters the same size using this method, but note that it is an option if you want to keep people around even though they’ve died. Ghosts are a common theme in a lot of paranormal fantasy, so it’s a viable option for you, though obviously your spin on it won’t be the same as Meservy’s has been.

Now, about what I felt wasn’t done well. I mentioned in my reader’s review that I found the start to be difficult to follow. It was confusing and jarring to jump from one world to the other with everything going on at the same time or at different times but with no clear markers on which was which.

This is something I’m fairly sure Meservy addresses later on in his writing since his short story for the anthology I’m organizing is in this same world and has clear headers to let us know as readers which realm we’re on and who it is that’s the viewpoint character. I found this to be a much more effective method of switching between realms because without those markers, it becomes very jumbled. This is, of course, one way of handling a similar situation in your own novels to avoid confusing readers or jarring them out of the story.

Beyond that, Meservy had a third realm, of sorts, and that was the realm of the mind. In this realm, the character only enters it when under the control of Lord Yrimwaque and the Threat, at least in The United. Once they’re in this realm, the characters cease to view themselves as themselves. They take on names like the Avenger, Traveler, Friend, and more. While in this state, they’re approached by someone from the Threat who masquerades as someone they want to follow, and, under mind control in the hallucination/mental realm, they do follow instructions. This leads to actions in the real world that frequently end with friends killing each other or one friend attacking and killing other friends. They can be snapped out of this realm when sprayed with water (for whatever reason this is the only method that works), but it’s usually too late to save anyone.

This mental realm was also confusing because the lack of names made it hard to follow who was who. So, while, eventually, I was able to figure out what was going on, I was never certain which character was the one being controlled until the mind control was removed and we were left with a fresh body count. This was pretty frustrating. If you have something similar, I recommend that you show them initially fighting it or slowly succumbing to it as their mind fades into the scene and they begin to think of themselves as this other character. That way, even if we don’t know for sure who they attack or what they do to those around them, we do know for certain which character we’re following. This just helps to ground the reader as they read through what might otherwise end up seeming confusing or disjointed/divorced from the reality built up in the rest of the book.

Conclusion

Despite the confusion at points in the book, I did find the storyline to be one I could follow and enjoy. I would recommend the book even if it wasn’t always the easiest to understand at times. The confusion wasn’t bad enough to make the book a no-go for me. It was more a minor frustration and distraction when it showed up and not even a problem the rest of the time. I loved the characters, and it made me sad any time someone died because even though I knew they weren’t gone forever, I saw the impact on those left behind, and it hurt for that reason. That means Meservy did quite a few things right, so I’d definitely say this book is one I can recommend without too much reserve.

You can buy the book through Amazon, and you can get in touch with James Quinlan Meservy through his website or his newsletter signup. I will be doing an author’s interview with Meservy to go along with this post, so once he has finished the questions, I’ll put that up!

Be on the look out for that and for my review of TN Traynor’s historical romance set in Scotland, which will be posted on March 7th. I know it isn’t the genre I usually review on the blog, but she and I are doing spotlights as part of my blog tour for On Twilight’s Wings, and because I know her work, I said I’d spotlight the book even though I normally wouldn’t do that for non-fantasy on the blog. I’ve already started reading the copy she sent me, and I’m really enjoying it so far! It’s better polished than Idi & the Oracle’s Quest was too, so I’ve been having an easier time reading it. There won’t be a writer’s review because it isn’t what I normally talk about on the blog, but I’ll have a review from my perspective as a reader along with a blurb, book links, and the cover. So for all of you who read romance too, you can look forward to that special feature come March 7th!